为了第五次雅思,每天一篇作文求批改

david_c

原帖由 psd1179 于 7-3-2011 23:45 发表

                               
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Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. The ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

你一定要学会分析题 ...

多谢啦,能不能给点怎么分析题目的建议,威望值加完了,下次给你加上.

david_c

Wring 10[2011.3.8] 祝各位女士节日快乐!
Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world. Other people, however, believe that scientists have the greatest influence. Discuss both of the views and give your opinion.

Recently, it is a highly contentious issue that whether the influence of scientists outweighs politicians’. Some people advocate that politicians play a more vital role on the world, while others hold the viewpoint that scientists have the greatest impact. In my opinion, both of these views can be reconciled, because the composition of these two types of people contributes to a harmonious society.

Admittedly, politicians are able to affect the society in many aspects. To begin with, policies made by politicians result in the life of ordinary people. Citizens may benefit from the policies, and they also can be affected by those policies in the unfavorable perspective. For example, a policy about curbing house price can make people who could not afford the house have their own home. And another policy about increasing the price of tuition fee might keep students away from the university. Moreover, politicians can help the country to maintain the social order. It is easy to imagine that what the future sequence of lacking rule in the society would be.

By contrast, scientists also bring amounts of effects to human society. In the first place, as having been generally acknowledged, the innovations of new technology and the inventions are attributed to the efforts of scientists. For example, computers and the internet have entirely changed the world. Without those technological productions, our life would fall into disorder again. In the second place, scientists could help humanity to resolve the problems which people meet in the daily life. Facing an increasing number of new problems, scientists must shoulder the responsibility to combat the situation.

In conclusion, I still persist that both scientists and politicians play an important role in human society. It is difficult to draw a conclusion which one has the greater influence than another.

psd1179

Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world. Other people, however, believe that scientists have the greatest influence. Discuss both of the views and give your opinion.

语言应该是越写越熟练了。
这篇文章，中文是 有人认为政治人物对世界的影响最大，有人认为是科学家影响最大，探讨

首先，你好像把政治家和科学家当成了政治和科学，
第二，文章第一段，说两者都有用，其实这不是一个观点（推荐买一本GRE北美范文，里面详细说明了英文的语言逻辑）。更好的说法是，你认为谁影响大，或者说不能一概而论，虽然XXX在XXX方面影响大，但XXX在另外XX方面更大。
第三，又回到第一。你把主体搞错。 正常应该写如政治家总是在关键时刻改变了人类的命运。比如坏人希特勒,怎么怎么地，又有三大好人出面，搞定了这事，人类的命运，尤其是现代人类的命运似乎总是和政治人物不可分，在举例mao和deng，这两位都上过Times封面的人，不仅改变了China，也改变的世界的格局，牛逼牛逼
然后，写科学家们也牛逼，没牛顿，没有瓦特，我们都还是农民，没有爱因斯坦相对论，就造不出原子弹，没原子弹，罗斯福也搞不定日本法西斯。所以说谁影响大还真不好说
最后，说个人是个坚定的技术派，更倾向肯定科技推动人类进步方面的成就，科学家有着不可怎么怎么的地位，但是没有政治家，人类的发展方向将时常脱离轨道

估计换成中文思考，你比我更能瞎掰。所以你的问题是没有仔细审题。另外薄弱的英语让你思维局限。keep up

[ 本帖最后由 psd1179 于 9-3-2011 16:47 编辑 ]

ricking

有个出现很多次的表达：amounts of，感觉怪怪的。可能是个错误的表达。

我查了查，好像是a large amount of , a large number of, numbers of  比较常见吧。

楼主不妨再确认下。

ricking

In conclusion, I still persist that both scientists and politicians play an important role in human society. It is difficult to draw a conclusion which one has the不要the的吧？ greater influence than another应该是the other.

another是指三个或三个以上集合里的一个。

david_c

Writing 11[2011.3.9] 这篇文章写得别别扭扭,似乎又跑了,没提社会价值流失的问题. 唉,老是不得其法.


Most countries want to improve standard of living through economic development, however, others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Recently, it is a highly contentious issue that whether the merits of the development of the economy outnumber the drawbacks. Some people advocate that the economic development contributes to the improvement of living standard, while others insist that people are losing their social values. In my opinion, although the economic development can bring a number of unfavorable aspects, its advantages still outweigh its demerits.

The human society benefits a great deal from the development of the economy. First of all, with the development of the economy, people have more opportunities to do what they want to do. Now, since the salary of working class is certainly higher than before, people have enough money to have a trip or buy things they cannot afford before. Moreover, as having been generally acknowledged, good quality facilities also can be provided by the government or companies due to the economic development. The government can impose more tax revenue, since companies make more profits than before as a result that individuals consume more products than before. Finally, economic development also can increase the opportunity of employment. It, therefore, can trigger a virtuous circle.

Admittedly, the undesirable perspectives cannot be ignored. To begin with, a major impact is the deterioration of the ecosystem. As a result of fast economic development, the forest was destroyed and the farmland was also demolished seriously. It also results in the extinction of some species of animals. In the second place, the problem of pollution is also serious. It is even difficult to breathe in some cities which are suffering from serious pollution. And we also lack clean fresh water to drink as a result that most of fresh water are polluted.

In conclusion, although the human society are facing huge challenge on the bad consequence of developing their economy fast, we have the ability to resolve most of those problems. Because economic development promotes the development of technology, which can help us to improves the standard of living.
Therefore I insist that the advantages of economic development outweigh the drawbacks.

yrqin

Recently, it is a highly contentious issue that whether the merits of the development of the economy outnumber the drawbacks. Some people advocate that the economic development contributes to the improvement of living standard, while others insist that people are losing their social values. In my opinion, although the economic development can bring a number of unfavorable aspects, its advantages still outweigh its demerits.

The human society benefits a great deal from the development of the economy. First of all, with the development of the economy, people have more opportunities to do what they want to [do, 可以省略do]. Now, since the salary of working class is certainly higher than before, people have enough money to have a trip or buy things they cannot[->could not，过去式] afford before. Moreover, as having been generally acknowledged, good quality facilities also can be provided by the government or companies [due to，用because of，因为due to一般是指不好的原因导致不好的结果] the economic development. The government can impose more tax revenue, [这里该断句了，语法错] since companies make more profits than before [as a result that，删去，因为有since了] individuals consume more products [than before，删去，重复了，有点罗嗦]. Finally, economic development also can increase the opportunity of employment. It, therefore, can trigger a virtuous circle.

Admittedly, the undesirable perspectives cannot be ignored. To begin with, a major impact is the deterioration of the ecosystem. As a result of fast economic development, the forest was destroyed and the farmland was also demolished seriously [用现在进行时更好，说明现在还在发生，如is being destroyed]. It also results in the extinction of some species of animals. In the second place, the problem of pollution is also serious. [For example,] It is even difficult to breathe in some cities which are suffering from serious [air] pollution. And we also lack clean fresh water to drink as a result that most of fresh water are[->is] polluted.[这一段是让步段，不宜写的太丰满了，那样抢了上一段的风头了；现在感觉也还好，不过还没有提social value的缺失，可以考虑删掉其中一点，换成social value的缺失]

In conclusion, although the human society are facing huge challenge on the bad consequence[s] of developing their economy [too] fast, we have the ability to resolve most of those problems. Because economic development promotes the development of technology, which can help us to improves the standard of living.[红色这里全部都是新内容，在结尾段出现是很不合理的，直接删掉，然后把后面一句的therefore去掉，组成新的一个结尾段也马马虎虎了，比现在扯远了要强。另外because用错了，是带从句的。或者用This is because新起一句也可以] Therefore I insist that the advantages of economic development outweigh the drawbacks.

[ 本帖最后由 yrqin 于 10-3-2011 10:41 编辑 ]

psd1179

ielts作文，只要2类句子
A 对 B有好处
例如……

以这种思路写，要简单很多。

例子要具体，比如这篇，经济发展和社会价值。
无非就是 经济发展对物质生活好，例如吃了，喝了，买了以前都没有的东西
可是，社会价值却因此受损，例如因经济竞争使得人们没有同情心，可是同情心对什么什么重要，例如关心小孩，关心弱者，这些反过来，对我们和社会又特别重要
因此，怎么怎么

看看，是不是2类句子就可以？

[ 本帖最后由 psd1179 于 10-3-2011 23:33 编辑 ]

david_c

Wring 12[2011.3.10] Technological progress in the past century has its negative effect, despite its remarkable contribution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?


The past 100 years have seen a dramatic progress in terms of technology. Some people advocate that the progress of the technology contributes to a number of favorable aspects, while others argue that it results in more undesirable perspectives. In my opinion, the overall impact of technological progress has in fact been negative.

Admittedly, the progress of technology is responsible for the civilization of humanity. To begin with, the invention of high technological items has brought considerable convenience to human society. For example, the advent of computers and internet has entirely changed the way we lived in the past. Not only can they help people have a remote chat in their home, but also they make shopping at home possible. Secondly, the technological progress improves the standard of living. It is possible for individuals to enjoy their life not only in material ways but also in mental ways.

However, the negative consequence is so serious that we have to devote ourselves to combat the problem. In the first place, as having been generally acknowledged, a major impact is the pollution of the environment. For example, it is even difficult to breathe in some cities which are suffering from serious air pollution. And we also lack clean fresh water to drink as a result that most of fresh water is polluted. In the second place, the deterioration of the ecosystem is so serious. As a result of fast economic development, the forest is being destroyed and the farmland is also being demolished seriously. Last but not least, human beings are becoming increasing lazy than ever before. As a result of technological progress, a vast number of new products are produced. Staying at home people still can go shopping, watch movies and even manage a farmland.

In conclusion, although technological progress contribute to the progress of society, I still insist that the demerits of technological progress outweigh its positive aspects in the past century.

david_c

Wring 13[2011.3.11]
The survey shows that in many countries, the people are living longer but increased life expectancy has many implications for the aging individuals and for society as a whole. What are the possible effects of longer living for individuals and society?


With the improvement of medical system, the age of people is increasingly larger than ever before. It brings plenty of effects not only for individuals but also but the whole society. In this essay, I will analyze the possible impact from both individuals’ perspectives and society’s.

For society, the favorable aspects of the impact are diverse. To begin with, it is a symbol of the great medical system of a country. The longer the age of the people in one country is, the more advanced the medical technology is. Everyone would be proud of the technology of their country which is more advanced than others’. Secondly, it means that the country owns more experience if the country has a vast number of aging people.

And, more aging population also contributes to some undesirable perspectives. Firstly, it is generally believed that it results in the pressure of the social welfare. The aging society means that most people arrive at the age of retirement, and the amount of the people who are still working is difficult to afford the welfare system. Secondly, more facilities for old people are needed, which would spend too much social resources.

From another angle, the desirable effects for individuals are apparent. In the first place, the more ages you live, the more generation the family will have. It is the key point of the harmonious society. Moreover, the greatest dream for almost everyone is living longer. No one would like to die early, and it is the instinct of an individual even for animals. Be alive is one of the happiest things in our life. Therefore, it is hard to illustrate that there are any unfavorable aspects on the longer age of people.

In conclusion, although the aging society brings some stress to the society, I still insist that living longer is the dream of humanity. Both society and individuals can benefit a great deal from the longer life.

浮云云艾米莉

原帖由 david_c 于 11-3-2011 02:58 发表

                               
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Wring 12[2011.3.10] Technological progress in the past century has its negative effect, despite its remarkable contribution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?


The past 100 years have see ...

咦LZ考的是A鸭么？怎么题目看上去那么亲切

LZ要注意小的语法问题。然后阐述可以充实点。

Wring 12[2011.3.10]

                               
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david_c

Wring 14[2011.3.12]植树节快乐
这里的give your opinion,我阐述的是不是太少了点
Some people think zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, some people think zoos are useful to protect the rare animals. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.


Recently, it is a highly contentious issue that whether the zoos should be closed. Some people advocate that zoos play a crucial role in protecting the endangered animals, while the opponents argue that it is too cruel to close animals in zoos. In my opinion, it depends on the different kinds of animals, for the rare animals, it is of necessary to protect them through putting them in zoos; otherwise, this behavior should be abandoned.

There are a tremendous amount of reasons that animals should not be closed in zoos. To begin with, no one has the right to deprive the freedom of any animals. Since animals living in zoos are restricted in a limited room, they cannot behave like they living in the nature any more. Therefore, they will lose their passion and their talent after living in the cage for a long time. Moreover, their abilities of capturing other animals and escaping from enemies will gradually decay. For example, tigers which are enclosed in zoos for a long time will lose their abilities to live in the forest lonely.

By contrast, the advocators are capable of proposing plenty of factors to support putting animals into zoos. First of all, it is of importance to reserve the endangered species. Without the protection of humanity, some animals which lose their abilities to live in the natural condition would be likely to go extinct. Secondly, the main purpose putting animals into zoos is waking up the awareness of protecting animals. The way showing the animal in zoos, especially for children, that can transfer more information about wild animals with an aim to protect them.

In conclusion, I hold the viewpoint that whether the animals should be enclosed into zoos surely depends on whether the behavior is helpful for animal. It means that only the behavior of protecting endangered animal from going extinct is allowed.

david_c

Wring 15[2011.3.13]

Lately, more and more work has to be done by machines. Do you think the positive effects of this development outweigh the negative effects on individuals and society?


The 50 past years have seen an increasing use of machines which are used to replace manual work. While some people argue that it contributes to a vast number of unfavorable aspects such as unemployment, I hold the viewpoint that the merits of using machines outnumber its drawbacks not only on civilians but also on society.

There are a tremendous number of desirable perspectives with the use of machines. To begin, for individuals, machines can free them from the risky work circumstance. For example, machines are capable of helping police to trigger bombs which are found in the public place, and also can obey the command to explore the Mars where it is difficult for humanity to arrive at and return to earth safe and sound. Moreover, from society’s angle, machines would result in the improvement of the efficiency of work. Machines are more powerful than people, and they can work for a long time without feeling hungry. The revolution of industrialization has proved that the number of products produced by machines is hundreds of times more than the ones produced manually.

Admittedly, the unfavorable aspects of using machines to excess cannot be ignored. First of all, it can trigger the problem of unemployment. Because of the improvement of the efficiency, less worker are needed in modern factory. Therefore, an increasing number of people would lose their job. It may result in some social problems. But overall, with the development of economy, more opportunities of employment would be created; therefore, it is unnecessary to worry about the unemployment problem.

In conclusion, although the widespread use of machines is responsible for some social problems, the benefits of using machines are apparent. Therefore, my view is that the advantages of using machines instead of human being surely outweigh the defects of it.

yrqin

The past 50 years have seen an increasing use of machines which are used[aim，刚用了名词use，这里把are used换aim] to replace manual work. While some people argue that it contributes to a vast number of unfavorable aspects such as unemployment, I hold the viewpoint that the merits of using machines outnumber its drawbacks not only on civilians but also on society.

There are a tremendous number of desirable perspectives with the use of machines. To begin, for individuals, machines can free them from the risky work circumstance. For example, machines are capable of helping police to trigger bombs which are found in the public place, and also can obey the command to explore the Mars where it is difficult for humanity to arrive at [Mars] and return to earth safe[ly] and sound[ly]. Moreover, from society’s angle, machines would result in the improvement of the efficiency of work. [This is because] Machines are more powerful than people, and they can work for a long time without feeling hungry. The revolution of industrialization has proved that the number of products produced by machines is hundreds of times more than the ones produced manually.

Admittedly, the unfavorable aspects of using machines to excess cannot be ignored. First of all, it can trigger the problem of unemployment. Because of the improvement of the efficiency, less worker are needed in modern factory[ies]. Therefore, an increasing number of people would lose their job[s]. In addition, It may result in some social problems, [such as ...]. [But overall, with the development of economy, more opportunities of employment would be created; therefore, it is unnecessary to worry about the unemployment problem.，这里讨论‘没必要担心失业问题’是多余的，比较突兀]

In conclusion, although the widespread use of machines is responsible for some social problems, the benefits of using machines are apparent. Therefore, my view is that the advantages of using machines instead of human being surely outweigh the defects of it.

david_c

Wring 16[2011.3.14] 离考试越来越近了,已经买好了去济南的火车票
Studies suggest that children spend more time on watching TV and they did in the past and spend less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think this is the case? What measurement and methods can be used to deal with it.


Recently, research has show that the time which children spend on watching TV is considerably more than ever before, on the contrary, they take less time to attend active or creative things. In this essay, I will try to analyze possible caused and then propose some feasible solutions.

The reasons which contribute to this situation are diverse. To begin with, the more colorful and attractive TV programs should be responsible for this problem. Since the diversity of programs is increasingly greater than before, teenagers would like to cost more time to watch TV instead of doing other activity. Moreover, it is a major cause that working parents do not have the time to accompany their children. Facing growingly fierce competition and tremendous stress in their work, therefore, parents have to pay more attention to their job instead of their children. Last but not least, lack of facilities which are used to provide for youngsters also results in the fact. It is easy to understand the fact that parents prefer to let their children stat at home watching TV, rather than allowing they play in the street.

Therefore, measures should be taken to combat these situations. First of all, TV programs should be restricted, especially for these lacking educational content. Specifically, both parents and the government should pay more attention to limit adolescents watch too much TV programs. Secondly, parents should be more aware of the future consequence of spending less time with their children. It is necessary to cultivate children’s sense of family; therefore, parents would better to squeeze time to accompany their children. Lastly, the government should sponsor more safe facilities for children which can be used to attend activities. Parents would not worry about the safety of their children when there are administers who are responsible for their children.

In conclusion, a variety of reasons are responsible for this situation; therefore, we should take a range of measures, including programs restriction, more time accompanying children and more safe facilities.

yrqin

Recently, research has show[n，低级语法错，大忌] that the time which children spend on[->in，回头复习下spend on 和 spend in的用法] watching TV is considerably more than ever before, [这里该断句了]on the contrary, they take[take应该指做什么事情需要多少花时间的意思，不是说某人花多少时间在什么事请上] less time to attend active or creative things[不用take又不要重复spend，这句话要大改了，(其实on the contrary放在这里也不好)，如：As a result, there would be less time for them to ...]. In this essay, I will try to analyze possible caused[词性不对，低级语法错] and then propose some feasible solutions.

The reasons which contribute to this situation are diverse. To begin with, the more colorful and attractive TV programs should be responsible for this problem. Since the diversity of programs is increasingly greater than before, teenagers would like to cost[用法同take，在这里也是不合适的。可以用spend，arrange，use等等] more time to watch TV instead of doing other activity[ies]. Moreover, it is a major cause that working parents do not have the[或者enough] time to accompany[或者用supervise] their children. Facing growingly fierce competition and tremendous stress in their work, therefore, parents have to pay more attention to their job instead of their children. Last but not least, lack of facilities which are used to provide for youngsters also results in the fact[the fact有点指代不清楚]. It is easy to understand the fact that parents prefer to let their children stat at home watching TV, rather than allowing they [to] play in the street.

Therefore, measures should be taken to combat these situations[->problems]. First of all, TV programs should be restricted, especially for these lacking educational content. Specifically, both parents and the government should pay more attention to [pay attention to后面应该接名词性的，整个这一句话语法很不通，像是chinglish] limit adolescents watch too much TV programs. Secondly, parents should be more aware of the future consequence of spending less time with their children. It is necessary to cultivate children’s sense of family; therefore, parents would better to squeeze time to accompany their children. Lastly, the government should sponsor more safe facilities for children which can be used to attend activities. [Then] Parents would not worry about the safety of their children when there are administers [who are，删掉，有些罗嗦了] responsible for their children.

In conclusion, a variety of reasons are responsible for this situation; therefore, we should take a range of measures, including programs restriction, more time accompanying children and more safe facilities.

低级语法错有一些，用词不够准确。整体论述感觉还行。

[ 本帖最后由 yrqin 于 15-3-2011 11:49 编辑 ]

david_c

Writing 17[2011.3.15] 消费者日
Travel by air is becoming cheaper and cheaper. Some people think it is beneficial, but other people think it has drawbacks to environment and the resoursed of the world. What is your opinion?


It is a high contentious issue that whether the merits of cheaper flight ticket outweigh its demerits. Some people advocate that the whole society would benefit a great deal from these cheap tickets, while others argue that it could result in environmental problems and depletion of resources. In my opinion, I hold the viewpoint that its benefits outnumber its defects.

The situation of increasingly cheaper flight tickets continues to a variety of favorable aspects. To begin with, it is generally believed that travel by air can save the time of travelling to other place. Especially for businessmen, they spend most of their time in having a business trip. Therefore, taking plane would help them squeeze more time to accompany with their family. Moreover, the widespread use of plane is responsible for the development of economy. This is because an increasing number of people would like to have a trip, while it is more convenient to travel by plane.

Admittedly, the unfavorable consequence of overusing plane cannot be ignored. First of all, it is a major cause of environmental pollution. The waste produced by aircraft is growing more than ever before. For instance, it is even difficult to breathe in some of developed cities. Secondly, this behavior can trigger the depletion of resources. The aircraft is powered by fuel, which is disposable resource. The more we use now, the less we will have in the future.

In conclusion, although the undesirable aspects such as environmental pollution, resource depletion are so serious, I still insist that the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.

david_c

Writing 18[2011.3.16] You are a passenger of an airline company and during the flight you feel extremely unsatisfactory to the service. Please write a Letter of Complaint to the company. In your letter, you should
1. Say how you are ignored
2. Give some suggestions to fix the problem
3. Tell the owner further action will be taken if this problem remains unsolved.


Dear Sir or Madam,


I am writing to complain about your service on the flight which I took last week.

I did not satisfy your service which is provided in your flight. I asked airhostesses to send me a cup of water, and they did not send it to me until I asked for five times. As you know, I need to take medicine before lunch time, so I have to get some water. Relating to deliver dinner, your airhostesses are so rude, that my package of food was broken. And I asked them to help me change another one. And I also wait more than half an hour. When I got the meal, the plane was preparing for landing. Therefore, I eat nothing during the flight.

I want to propose some advice to you, which I hope can help you to resolve the problem. First of all, the airhostesses are needed to be trained by some experts. This is because they need learn how to service their clients. Secondly, you should arrange some supervisors to monitor the behavior of airhostesses with an aim to improve the quality of service.

I hope you can apologize for your bad service to me, because I feel so unsatisfactory with your service. Otherwise, I will never take the flight of your company, and I also will tell my friends and colleagues never take your flights.

I am looking forward to your reply.



Yours Sincerely,

psd1179

I admire your perpetual.
Your languages are more smoothly and easyto follow. I think you can get 6 or 6+ in the test.


It is a highly contentious issue that whether the merits ofcheaper flight ticket outweigh its demerits. Some people advocate that thewhole society would benefit a great deal from thesecheap tickets, while others argue that it could result in environmentalproblems ( degradation ) and depletion ofresources. In my opinion, I hold the viewpoint that itsbenefits outnumber its defects.

The situation of increasingly cheaper flight tickets continues to a variety of(various) favorable aspects. To begin with, it isgenerally believed that travel by air can save the time of travelling to otherplace., Especially for businessmen, (who) spend most of their time in having a businesstrip. Therefore, taking plane would help themsqueeze more time to accompany with their family.
Moreover, the widespread use of plane is responsible(helpful) for the development of economy. This is because an increasing number of peoplewould like to have a trip for its convenience, while it is more convenient to travel by plane.

Admittedly, the unfavorable consequence of overusing plane cannotbe ignored. First of all, it is a major cause of environmental pollution. Thewastes produced by aircraft is are growing more thanever before. For instance, it is even difficult to breathe in some of developedcities(this may not be caused by air plane, after all “developed”to illustrate county is not applicable on city). Secondly, this behavior can trigger the depletion of resources. The aircraftis powered by fuel, which is disposable resource.
The fuel consumptionof an aircraft is hundreds times than that of an ordinary vehicle. The airindustry can trigger the depletion of resources. The more we use now,the less we will have in the future.

In conclusion, although the undesirable aspects such as environmentalpollution, resource depletion are so serious, I still insist that theadvantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.( you have a logical error. If the pollution is so serious, then you mustinsist that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages)


Inthis article, you mistake in weak argument of the advantages while illustratingthe adverse impact so strongly)

psd1179

原帖由 david_c 于 17-3-2011 02:33 发表

                               
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Writing 18[2011.3.16] You are a passenger of an airline company and during the flight you feel extremely unsatisfactory to the service. Please write a Letter of Complaint to the company. In your lette ...

这封信让我笑死了，哈哈哈后

psd1179

不过严肃的说，要是考试写成这样的信，分数不会高，我感觉
英文信，一是表意清楚，二是有礼貌
另外一定要用一些惯用句子。比如开头结尾。I am looking forward to your reply. 这句子就极其不地道

david_c

原帖由 psd1179 于 17-3-2011 00:00 发表

                               
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不过严肃的说，要是考试写成这样的信，分数不会高，我感觉
英文信，一是表意清楚，二是有礼貌
另外一定要用一些惯用句子。比如开头结尾。I am looking forward to your reply. 这句子就极其不地道

分数不会高的原因在哪呢?
是表意不清楚和没有礼貌,还缺少惯用句子吗?
能不能具体的说说,最近练大作文挺多,但是书信还是不知道怎么写.

david_c

Writing19 [考前最后一篇了,明天一早赶赴济南,谢谢大家的帮忙.]  
You rented an apartment for a holiday last year and you are happy with it although there is a problem with it. You want to rent it again this year, write a letter about: 1. Why you are happy with it
2. What the problem is
3. Give information of the details and dates you required.
         
         
Dear Sir or Madam,


I am writing to seek accommodation from your company for my vacation.

Last year, I rented an apartment from your company, in which I had a great time. The room was so tidy, and the service was provided by the waiter was excellent. The waiters were well-trained, and they always knew what I needed and when the items should be sent to me. At the same time, they never interrupted the games which I played with my family. Therefore, considering the excellent service, I would like to rent the apartment again in two weeks.

However, there was a problem which annoyed me at night. It was the flags outside the front window. At night, the wind blew the flags, which could hit the glasses of the window. It made little sound, but at the quiet night, it really bothered me. Therefore, I hope you could move the flags more than 2 meters away from the windows.

I would like to reserve room 303, the same room as last year. I will take my wife go there with me in May 5th.

I am looking forward to receiving your replay. Thanks for your kind assistance.


Yours sincerely,

esta0823

I am looking forward to your reply.应改为I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.