Tea and the mystery girl

被回收马甲3

After a chance meeting, Gary Newman is smitten in Shanghai.

Being alone in Shanghai makes you feel like a germ that's been flicked into a beaker full of white blood cells. Everyone seems out to get a piece of you - the women flogging pirated DVDs and fake watches on Nanjing Road, travel agents who claim not to speak English and the swarms of scooters that blaze their way through red lights when you are crossing the road. Then there are the scammers - such as the supposed businessman who has lost his wallet and briefcase and needs money to catch a taxi to his hotel.

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What do I look like? Some kind of wet-behind-the-ears backpacker?

After a day spent wading through the syrupy Shanghai air repelling hawkers and swindlers, I am relieved to meet Jenny, a friendly young Chinese woman who speaks English.

''Excuse me,'' she says with a perfect smile. ''Can I have photo with me and my friends?''

It's September, the World Expo is on and Shanghai is crawling with Chinese tourists wanting to pose in a photograph with a bloke whose hair makes him look as though he's plugged his index finger into the mains. Usually, they are either couples or groups of older men but this is the first time I'm asked by someone who is young, twinkly-eyed and female. Clearly, my tolerance of the Chinese tourist paparazzi has earned me some positive karma, which I plan to cash in by wooing Jenny.

''How many people your tour group?'' she asks. ''Only one? Maybe you join our group? We go traditional Chinese tea ceremony now. You come?''

Hell yes.

Shanghai is a bitterly disappointing place if you arrive wanting to immerse yourself in Chinese tradition. At least Beijing has its remnant hutongs, musty temples and imitation communist memorabilia. But this place seems nothing more than a neon-lit mosaic of cement and glass with the phallic Oriental Pearl Television Tower in Pudong as its 468-metre centrepiece.

The prospect of sipping oriental tea with a Chinese princess is not an opportunity I was expecting to materialise among the phalanxes of Nikon-wielding tourists along The Bund.

''You talk my friends,'' Jenny says, as we begin ambling towards the tea house. She walks a few steps ahead to make a phone call. Her friends tell me they're in Shanghai to see the World Expo and Jenny is showing them around.

''How old you?'' Jenny asks when she rejoins the group. She's shocked when I tell her 32.

''I thought you 25! Why you no married? Maybe you need Chinese girlfriend,'' Jenny says with a giggle.

We exchange trivia about our countries. She laughs at how small Melbourne is and I pretend to be amazed by the fact Shanghai alone holds a population the size of Australia's. She tells me she's an acupuncturist - something I've always wanted to try.

All of a sudden, Jenny announces our arrival at the entrance of the teahouse - a nondescript doorway on an unfamiliar intersection. She ushers me into a small room. The walls are adorned with Chinese symbols and the room is filled by a table, four chairs and a Chinese woman dressed in a traditional robe. The wallpaper is peeling slightly in the corners and the place is by no mean salubrious but as a setting for a traditional tea ceremony, it looks the part.

I take the seat next to Jenny. ''She only speak Chinese,'' she says of our host. ''I translate for you. I hope you don't mind my Chinglish,'' she laughs.

The tea ceremony begins. In charming Chinglish, Jenny informs me the ceremony dates back to the Qing dynasty, which rose to power in the 15th century. I'm corrected for holding the tea glass like a woman and instead am shown how to hold the glass like a Qing emperor. I breathe in the scent of each tea before we taste it and I'm told the purpose of each - one is for longevity and another is for cleansing the pancreas - but I'm not really listening.

Jenny's sculpted features and playful Chinglish are an intoxicating blend.

''I think I like that one,'' she says, pointing to a glass teapot inside which the steaming water is being infused by a kind of exotic flower. ''Which one you like?''

I tell her the third and fourth teas are my preferred choices. ''Ahhh. Good choice,'' she says. ''You can buy to take home at end of ceremony - for your mother!''

It just so happens it's my mother's birthday - so I order a box with two flavours of tea once the ceremony is over, as does everyone else.

And then the bill arrives. The prices, written in neat, grey pencil, tell me my share of the price, including my mum's gift, comes to 853 yuan ($130). It seems a lot but everyone else is happily forking out multiple 100 yuan bills to pay for their share and I don't want to seem stingy in front of Jenny.

I open my wallet and discover I'm 400 yuan short. ''Don't worry, I give you money and you pay me back later,'' Jenny says with a smile. ''There is an ATM near here, we go there after.''

We leave the tearoom and walk down a typical, dimly lit Shanghai backstreet towards the bank. We find the ATM and I withdraw the money for her.

As we stroll leisurely, I tell her about Australia and she seems to like the sound of it. I joke she should marry me and move to Australia. She says maybe. Suddenly we're back among the tourists and bright lights and Jenny tells me they have to meet some other friends, the implication being that I'm not invited.

I do, however, procure a phone number and a kiss on the cheek before she disappears.

And then I'm alone again, sweating in the subtropical humidity. I decide to retreat to the airconditioned comfort of my hotel but I realise I'm lost and don't want to fork out more money for a taxi. I begin walking but the air is like molasses. It's not long before the imitation label sneakers I'd bought in Beijing cause my feet to blister and the sweat cascading down my brow washes away Jenny's intoxicating effect like a mug of day-old percolated coffee. In this new-found sobriety, I reflect on the evening's events.

If you've ever been to China, you'd know 853 yuan can buy quite a lot - food, rent and bills for an entire month, or a plane ticket from Shanghai to Beijing.

How did I manage to walk away from a Chinese tea party 853 yuan lighter?

And then I recall the phrase.

The one from the Lonely Planet guide.

The one that reads: ''Nanjing Road East. Single men should guard against English-speaking Chinese women shanghaiing them towards extortionate drinks at local bars and cafes.''

I've been Shanghaied.

被回收马甲3

一个偶然的相遇后，加里纽曼是一见钟情在上海。

作为在上海，就可以使你像一个已经成为一个烧杯的白血细胞全弹胚芽的感觉。每个人似乎都获得了消费者的一部分 - 妇女鞭笞盗版DVD和假冒的手表在南京路，旅行社声称谁不说英语和摩托车闯红灯的开拓他们的方式当你过马路的群。然后有一些骗子 - 如所谓商人谁失去了他的钱包，公文包，需要钱，赶着他的旅馆出租车。

广告语：下面的故事继续
这是什么样子？某种类型的湿的幕后故事，耳朵背包客？

经过一整天后的浆状上海排斥小贩和骗子空气涉水，我感到宽慰，满足珍妮，年轻的中国友好的女人谁讲英语。

''对不起，''她说了一个完美的微笑。 ''我能与我和我的朋友的照片吗？''

这是九月，世博会是在上海是想与中国游客构成与一名家伙的头发让他看起来就像他的插在他的食指照片水管爬。通常，他们要么夫妻或老年男子团体，而是这是我第一次被人谁是年轻，twinkly眼，女问。显然，我对中国旅游狗仔队的宽容，我得到了一些积极的业力，我打算现金拉拢珍妮研究。

''你有多少人旅行团？''她问。 ''只有一个？也许你加入我们的团体？我们到现在传统的中国茶道。你来吗？''

地狱是的。

上海是一个令人失望的地方，如果你激烈到达想要沉浸在中国传统的自己。至少北京的胡同有其遗迹，霉味寺庙和模仿共产纪念品。但这个地方似乎没有什么比水泥和玻璃霓虹灯点燃的阴茎在浦东东方明珠塔为468米的中心镶嵌。

对呷公主与中国东方茶的前景不是一个机会，我原以为会实现之间的尼康挥舞沿外滩游客的方阵。

''你说我的朋友，''珍妮说，当我们开始向茶馆安布林。她走了几步往前走，打个电话。她的朋友告诉我，他们是在上海看世博会和珍妮显示它们。

''你多大了？''珍妮问她重新加入本集团。她的震惊，当我告诉她32。

''我以为你25！你为什么没有结婚？也许你需要中国的女朋友，一个傻笑''珍妮说。

我们交换有关我们国家的琐事。她笑着说在墨尔本是多么渺小，我假装被事实上海，仅持有澳大利亚人口的规模感到惊讶。她告诉我她的针灸师 - 这是我一直想试试。

突然间，珍妮宣布在茶馆门口我们的到来 - 在一个陌生的十字路口不伦不类门口。她引进到一个小房间。墙壁上装饰有中国符号和房间是一张桌子，四把椅子和一个中国女子穿着传统的长袍填补。墙纸剥落略有角落，这个地方并不意味着有益健康，但作为一个传统茶道的设置，它看起来的一部分。

我坐的座位旁边的珍妮。她只说中文''，''她对我们的主人说。 ''我为你翻译。我希望你不介意我的中式英语，''她笑着说。

茶道开始。在迷人的中式英语，珍妮告诉我的仪式可以追溯到清朝的涨幅在15世纪的力量。我校正举行茶玻璃像一个女人，而是我展示了如何保持清代皇帝像玻璃。我呼吸的每一个茶之前，我们品尝它的香味，我告诉每一个目的 - 一个是长寿和其他清洁胰腺是 - 但我并不是真的在听。

珍妮的雕刻功能和好玩的中式英语是一个令人陶醉的交融。

''我觉得我喜欢那个，''她说，指着里面的一个玻璃茶壶蒸水正在被注入一种奇异的花。 ''你喜欢哪一个？''

我告诉她的第三和第四的泪水是我的首选的选择。 ''唉唉。不错的选择，''她说。 ''你可以买到采取在仪式结束回家 - 你的母亲''

这恰好是我的母亲的生日 - 所以我命令两个盒子口味的茶仪式结束后，其他人也是如此。

然后，该法案到达。价格，整齐，灰色铅笔写的，告诉我，我的价格分享，包括我的妈妈的礼物，来到853元（130美元）。似乎很多，但大家都在快乐地分叉出多个100元话费支付的份额，我不希望在珍妮面前显得小气。

我打开我的钱包，并发现我400元短。 ''别担心，我给你钱，你给我回来之后，''珍妮笑着说。 ''附近有一个自动取款机，我们去那里之后。''

我们离开的茶室和一个典型的走下来，灯光昏暗的小巷对银行上海。我们发现ATM和我收回她的钱。

当我们漫步悠闲，我告诉她，她对澳大利亚似乎喜欢它的声音。我开玩笑，她应该嫁给我，搬到澳大利亚。她说也许。突然之间，我们又回到了游客和明亮的灯光和珍妮告诉我，他们必须满足一些其他朋友，其含义是，我没有被邀请。

我这样做，但是，采购一个电话号码和脸颊上吻她之前消失。

然后我再孤独了，在亚热带潮湿出汗。我决定撤退到我的酒店空调的舒适，但我知道我迷路了，不希望到餐桌的出租车出更多的钱。我开始行走，但空气仿佛糖蜜。这不是很久以前的仿标签我在北京买了球鞋导致我的脚起泡和层叠的汗水洗去我的额头珍妮的醉人像一个天大的渗出咖啡杯效果。在这个新发现的清醒，我想起了当晚的活动。

如果你曾经去过中国，你就会知道八百五十三元可以买了不少 - 了整整一个月，或从上海到北京的机票食品，房租和帐单。

我如何管理自己步行一中茶话会八五三元打火机了？

然后，我记得这句话。

从寂寞星球指南之一。

一，上面写着：''南京东路。单身男人要警惕英语为母语的华人妇女shanghaiing对在当地的酒吧和咖啡馆饮料敲诈他们。''

我一直Shanghaied。