新手上路，作文求批改！

lhw113

Qife was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent decades, new technology has
amazing changes for our life, while it raised concerns whether life is better when technology is complex.

It is evident that technologic innovation benefit our life in every respective. To start with, products of high technology entertain us in the way that can not be imagined decades ago. For instance, email make it just a click to connect with people all around the world, which has almost replaced traditional mail of thousand years. Another fact is developed transporting system shortened the distance between people, make it convenient and fast for people to travel around the world. Moreover, various technology facilitate our daily life by labor-saving or labor-replacing machinery. Thanks for home applicants, housewives are released from household chores.

On the other hand, many individuals argue that the more complex technology is, the worse life we have. One reason for their view is obviously high technology make people lenient from each other. It seems true high-tech products have occupied an increasingly larger portion of our leisure time; therefore, the bond among friends and family members is not as strong as before. Though the transportation has greatly improved, traffic jam occur more frequently. Nonetheless, it should not be overlooked that high pace of modern life is the main cause of the issue I mentioned above. Few can deny the initiate purpose of high-tech is for the sake of human race’s well-being, by which I mean technology is always developing in order to make a better life.

On the basic of above factors, my conclusion is high technology is improving our life, regardless of some downside factors.

zeopha

不好意思自以为是的指出些建议：单复数使用有误；词性使用有误；时态使用有误；行文不够连贯
与各位共勉！

In recent decades, new technology has
amazing changes for our life, while it raised concerns whether life is better when technology is complex.

It is evident that technologic innovation benefit our life in every respective. To start with, products of high technology entertain us in the way that can not be imagined decades ago. For instance, email make it just a click to connect with people all around the world, which has almost replaced traditional mail of thousand years. Another fact is developed transporting system shortened the distance between people, ？make it convenient and fast for people to travel around the world. Moreover, various technology facilitate our daily life by labor-saving or labor-replacing machinery. Thanks for home applicants, housewives are released from household chores.

On the other hand, many individuals argue that the more complex technology is, the worse life we have. One reason for their view is obviously high technology make people lenient from each other. It seems true high-tech products have occupied an increasingly larger portion of our leisure time; therefore, the bond among friends and family members is not as strong as before. Though the transportation has greatly improved, traffic jam occur more frequently. Nonetheless, it should not be overlooked that high pace of modern life is the main cause of the issue I mentioned above. Few can deny the initiate purpose of high-tech is for the sake of human race’s well-being, by which I mean technology is always developing in order to make a better life.

On the basic of above factors, my conclusion is high technology is improving our life, regardless of some downside factors.

原帖由 lhw113 于 18-2-2011 12:32 发表

                               
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Qife was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent decades, new technology has
amazing changes for our life, while it raised concerns whether life is ...

[ 本帖最后由 zeopha 于 18-2-2011 14:34 编辑 ]

lyle_w

Thanks for home applicants, housewives are released from household chores.appliance

lhw113

谢谢大家！
请问这样的水平大概能混多少分啊？