继续努力！贴12/11号考的那该死的作文。求批改。

shan8006

Some people say that it is impossible to living comfortably in some large cities. What is the cause? How to solve this problem?

Answer:

In this day and age, as human society is progressing rapidly on various areas, particularly in some metropolises. Subsequently, some people claim that they probably could not living comfortably in those big cities. In this essay, I will analyse some possible causes and propose some solutions.

Obviously, the vehicles enable citizenry to living conveniently and efficiently in this large metropolitan area. But at the meantime, the increasing numbers of cars always not only put a strain on the already crowded ground but also aggravate the air pollution, which are severely harmful to the quality of people's living. Shanghai is a case in point. more and more autoos are creating traffic congestion all the day, a great deal of exhaust has been discharged to the air. The next factor render the citizens dissatisfaction is increasingly high expenditure of living in some large cities. Metropolis means more population and demand, they commonly cause the rise of necessities that makes the impoverished people living in misery. for instance, the needy people in Shanghai who living depend on alms could not afford a decent meal as they have to distribute their poor money to combat every daily life.

However, The governmental efforts could improve those situations. They should take measures to restric the running cars' quantity in the city and make out more walking areas. At the same time, car ownerships could choose public transport in order to giving the roads to the people who really need use these resources. Whereafter, the government could take actions to control necessities' price and enhance the societal welfare to ameliorate the living standard of deprived citizens.

In summary, increasing cars and expensive necessities in metroplis could make people uncomfortably. But through the governmental measures and people's efforts would improve these situations.

mengzedong

兄弟，俺不是高手，只说一句，您这作文模板了吧。。。

yrqin

依我看，就这篇作文而言，语法复杂程度，句式变化，词汇的广泛使用都还可以，结构比较一般，同时衔接方面做得还差了点。不过总体还是不错的。

然而，出现了很多各种各样的低级语法错和基础词汇使用不当，这个是很严重的；若能好好改进，个人感觉至少可以提高0.5～1分。换句话说，基础不牢固至少拉低了0.5～1分的水平。

石屹の雪

向楼主学习。。。7分没问题的