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雅思作文求批,请高手帮忙看看能得几分?

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1#
发表于 5-12-2010 19:18:23 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式

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发大作文一篇,求高手帮忙批改,多谢!


题目:城市改造是否要保留古建筑


Some people suggest that old building should be replaced by new building. Indeed, modern  
high-rised buildings are better than the old ones either in exterior or functional aspects.  
Although I appreciate the aesthetic enjoyment and comfortable feeling the new skyscrapers  
has brought us, I do not think knocking down all the old buildings is a wise policy.

Old buildings have many advantages in various points. First and foremost, many buildings  
have dramatic historical significance. For instance, every time when I walk through the Tian
An Men, I'll remember our president's claim of our country's establishment. Some old museum  
also contribute to the history education of primary students. Further, some of the old  
buildings are still very beautiful in modern aesthetic researchers' view. With the help of  
the various beautiful old buildings, our architects are able to acquire aspirations to work  
out more and more great buildings, which allow us to live comfortable as well as enhance the
cityscape. In addition, although some buildings are aged, they were built so strong that  
they can last for many more years without laying dangerous to citizens; therefore, it has no
need to knock down them in economic consideration.

Many people argue that old buildings should be damaged and replaced by new ones. The reason  
is that old buildings are usually looked neither generous nor modern. However, it is the  
different kind of buildings that make the city more beautiful.

In conclusion, I advocate reserve the buildings with aesthetic value or historic significance,
and knock down the dangerous ones. Modern skyscrapers may has generous exterior
and advanced function, but they can never replace the old buildings which can bring
us the emotional amusement.
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2#
 楼主| 发表于 6-12-2010 12:22:18 | 只看该作者
自己顶,请大家多批评,谢谢!
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3#
发表于 6-12-2010 12:59:57 | 只看该作者
一点意见:
论证的时候, 如果举例子可以谨慎一点, 比如你说天安门啊新中国,,
西方人可能并不认同, 原因大家都知道的对吧~
就好像我帮主申准备口语的过程中, 举例子都要思考一下, 对方是否是强烈的环境保住主义者?(一次想说大象皮做的皮带, 后来否决掉)
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4#
 楼主| 发表于 6-12-2010 15:31:58 | 只看该作者
哦,多谢建议,我会注意的!
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5#
 楼主| 发表于 7-12-2010 09:19:14 | 只看该作者
自己顶,欢迎大家提意见哈
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