如果嫁了个蠢得要命的男人怎么办

cherub

可能脾气好的男人都会比较蠢。我这暴脾气也就我老公能容忍了。

maggie2007

dcxg一定是被Ld重点打击的对象

getmoving

maggie2007 发表于 24-8-2013 13:07

                               
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没任何人给出有指导性的建议/方案。。

最后以一张平凡的碗豆花图片要求猩猩把此贴封了。谢谢！居然有个很 ...

指导性的建议/方案 谈不上。但是也许可以试试这个：

欣赏好的，改变你能改变的，接受你不能改变的(指改变对方)

maggie2007

getmoving 发表于 24-8-2013 13:43

                               
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freeoz的站内短信。那天收到你发给我的站内短信我就给你回了，今天又给你发了。。。我还说这个maggie怎么 ...

主要是这个功能改了后有点不习惯，真没去看什么消息。。。

cherub

其实就是不要对男人抱有幻想，家家都有这么个货。男人只对sex有想法，其他方面就当猪好了。好在我老公知道结婚就是把自己卖给丈母娘家当长工，无论干什么都毫无怨言，只是干什么都不到位。我就经常一边教育他哪里不对一边夸自己脾气好耐心好从不发火什么的。他挨了数落还挺知足。

getmoving

maggie2007 发表于 24-8-2013 13:42

                               
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这个很容易种的，你家的后院里随便扔几根，明年你都吃不完。

我去朋友家， 她就给了我一根，第二年就太 ...

给我俩根好不？我也在院子里扔两根

maggie2007

Cherub 发表于 24-8-2013 13:49

                               
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其实就是不要对男人抱有幻想，家家都有这么个货。男人只对sex有想法，其他方面就当猪好了。好在我老公知道结 ...

你太强了。。。

你好像有个帖子，里面那个是你家那位吗？？

shyaka

dcxg 发表于 24-8-2013 04:56

                               
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结婚了没呀

瞎建议

结婚很多年了，而且我们一直是这么做的。

周星星1832

maggie2007 发表于 24-8-2013 11:33

                               
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这样就成了死循环，懂不？ 要把这个死循环打破，挨踢的人都知道怎么干吧？

凭啥每次都是我打破死循环啊
不过算了
我还是得跟她谈谈
不然她还是意识不到问题的严重性

周星星1832

Cherub 发表于 24-8-2013 13:40

                               
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我家那货给女儿喂水，女儿不小心呛到了一直咳嗽，他还继续喂。这样够蠢吗？
周星星这种八戒型的好老公是找 ...

这是却缺乏联练习和必要的知识
不是蠢

周星星1832

maggie2007 发表于 24-8-2013 13:42

                               
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这个很容易种的，你家的后院里随便扔几根，明年你都吃不完。

我去朋友家， 她就给了我一根，第二年就太 ...

原来在成都
最爱吃凉拌折儿根
尤其是嫩折耳根拌嫩蚕豆

周星星1832

Cherub 发表于 24-8-2013 13:49

                               
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其实就是不要对男人抱有幻想，家家都有这么个货。男人只对sex有想法，其他方面就当猪好了。好在我老公知道结 ...

这么好的老公你就知足吧

周星星1832

这个帖子有变成完全批判男人的趋势啊
我必须唱唱反调

男人容易嘛

在外面工作
回到家还得做饭洗碗收衣服
给小孩讲故事
你做一次饭会死啊
就说我说过你厨艺有待提高
但是不代表你彻底不做啊

你总说累
但是你不上班吧
儿子一星期去三天幼儿园
平常打扫卫生也基本都是我干的
你就带带孩子
就算是累
我多干点也没什么
谁叫我们是男人呢
但是能不随便挑刺嘛

就算挑了也没事但是自己脾气不好
能别说我脾气不好嘛
我从小到大没一个人说我脾气不好

这些都算了
关键是你认识不到问题的关键
其实很简单很容易解决的事情
怎么和你沟通那么费劲呢
你说自从你生完孩子
我受的气少吗

以上完全虚构
请女同胞们也反省一下
我们男人到底要什么

maggie2007

作为女人，

税后工资我们就差几百块，再过两年肯定超过你那几百块，
虽然你会拖下地板，但我看只比不拖好一点，并且经常怠工， 有时两周都不想拖；

家里从买菜到饭菜上桌，一个人在厨房忙得团团转也不见你主动来帮个忙，就知道坐在电脑面前看小说。。。

我的纯毛毛衣咚的一下就仍进洗衣机， 有点常识没，这个是要手洗的，从来都是我自己洗的，也不奢望你能帮我洗，完全是搞破坏。。。。
Ipad不离手，weiwei都要拿着， 扑扑更是坐在马桶上半个小时以上，难道坐在马桶上看小说更enjoying?

说了无数次对小孩耐心点，但为了看小说，小孩要求你读故事，你从来都是以种种借口推脱，不管小孩在那里大哭不大哭。

有什么办法？ 我只好自己陪小孩写作业，陪她洗漱，给她读故事直到她睡着
而你吃完饭洗个碗都洗不干净。。。。

自己烂习惯一堆，如何去教育小孩？？

自己对小孩说不能撒谎，自己却撒谎， 你说他老实吧？ 假的。。。

我生病从来不关心，他生病我也不想关心，但后来又心软，看他可怜，给他做各种有益恢复的食物。。。


男人是自私的动物



回猩猩

maggie2007

‘你说自从你生完孩子
我受的气少吗
’

猩猩，我还是有那么一丁点同情你， 谁让你不生小孩。

如果她累， 你得观察下，有些人生完小孩恢复不好，会留点什么病也是有可能的。 可以让她看看医生，让她锻炼下，让她喝点红酒吧，有活血的效果，说不定就对你好了。。。。

getmoving

周星星1832 发表于 24-8-2013 14:56

                               
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这个帖子有变成完全批判男人的趋势啊
我必须唱唱反调

大家都知道星星脾气好，在freeoz谁骂他说他重话他从来不生气。
所以这个好脾气需要在家里发扬光大

yping88

I have been following through this post all the way till now, whatever scenarios brought up here, I could say I have been there.  However, my marriage have made it till today and both of us seem happy to stay married until death do us apart.

And I will tell you what happened if you guys are interested! But I wouldn't dish out the dirty laundries or any specific details of ours! Because we have been through all the details you guys brought out in this post, and maybe many more you haven't even experienced!

yping88

When we were young, we both were headstrong about whatever we decided separately rather than as a united team. Neither of us tried to meet each other halfway, of course, an agreement had never been reached as a team!

yping88

Along the way, we both arrived at a point in a marriage where we became habitual and strong to go against all the suggestions the other part made, even after a minute of consideration, we realized the other part made a lot of sense in what had been decided.

yping88

From my point of view at that time, he meant nothing but a trash to be dumped (No offense, LD). And to him, I might mean a bug to be crushed.

For a long time, it seemed that we couldn't make this marriage work at all and we both wanted out badly.  

nil

maggie2007 发表于 24-8-2013 13:10

                               
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藕种子呢？？

是鱼腥草， 我老家叫节尔根， 是一个香港人给我的。。。

姐，那也得写成“节儿根”好吧。

其实实际是折耳根啦。你google一把就知道了。别争了，不是个聪明的西服嘛。

nil

顺便回一下你主题：

很简单，就俩选择：
1要么就离
2要么就忍

没别的选择。这种问题问不出答案的。

yping88

Then, one day I let it all out to my best friend, who is one of the wisest women I have ever met. She said to me:

I believe almost every family has experienced some issues, either this or the other! But only a few couples got divorced, the majority made it to growing old together.

Why? Because in all the marriages that worked out, the women have to be the smart ones!

I believe all men will turn out to be the brilliant husbands if the women who train them are smart. If women know their men's strengths and weaknesses, and sort out how to bring out the best in men and protect their weaknesses, it will all be your call to sit him down or stand him up!  

yping88

She said:

It will take you some energy to work out how to do all these, but as long as you get there, it will work out for the best in your marriage once for all.

All you need is just to sit down, think about what you can do differently even before you can ask him to change.

First: Think about how much attention you have paid him, how much thoughts you have given to his physical and psychological health.

If you care about him, you should let him know sometime during the day that you miss him and love him. Nobody could stay cold while the warmth is delivered, otherwise, you still need to keep him to protect other women if you are warmhearted.

(Heeeheee, that means there's no way for you to get out once you married to him, that's your pledge to your marriage, that explains your integrity after you said YES to his proposal! No matter how hard it is, you should be smart enough to make it work. It's all up to you!)

浮云云艾米莉

双方体谅下吧。。。大家不要互相争了

真的，多看看多方的优点，挺好的

yping88

Second: Before you want to place the blame on him, find some excuses for him! There must be some reasons for him to behave like this.

In this situation, please sit both of you down and find out what is happening with each other!

It doesn't hurt to say SORRY to the man you love the most in the world, even though you are so convinced you have done nothing wrong. Tell him you are sorry for not paying much attention he deserves, let him dish out whatever bothers him.

Then, as long as he opens up, it all becomes easier for you to figure out your techniques to deal with him!

Frequently, tell him how lucky you both are to have each other in your life, no matter how convinced you are that he is the lucky one rather than you!

(For me, I do the opposite and tell my LD: XXX, you just couldn't realize how lucky you are to have me around, your wife is so smart, so caring, so generous...I am jealous of you really!)

maggie2007

yping88 发表于 24-8-2013 16:51

                               
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Second: Before you want to place the blame on him, find some excuses for him! There must be some rea ...

我最不喜欢的就是为什么都要我去做而不是他主动沟通？

像猩猩说的，为什么每次都是我去打破这个死循环？

这明显不公平。

yping88

In the end, she ended up telling me:

If you can't figure out to make this marriage work, you would be a failure in all the future ones. Because you couldn't even walk through the most beautiful, naive relationship towards the end, what other relationships would be easier for you to jump into?

BTW, the moment you get out of your marriage, please let me know, I will set him up for a new relationship, I bet he will be a brand new man you could never imagine he would be, because you are just not good enough to find that out.

yping88

maggie2007 发表于 24-8-2013 16:57

                               
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我最不喜欢的就是为什么都要我去做而不是他主动沟通？

像猩猩说的，为什么每次都是我去打破这个死循环 ...

The marriage is not where you can find out why but where you don't care why! As long as you still ask why it should be you not him, I will say that you are still too young!

Please don't take this as an offense!

maggie2007

yping88 发表于 24-8-2013 17:01

                               
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In the end, she ended up telling me:

If you can't figure out to make this marriage work, you wou ...

这个女人这么强， 我愿意把孩子爹给她， 让她修理成brand new one....  我承认我不够好， 还有我真没什么兴趣了。。。。