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小作文：
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing ("waiting for" or "awaiting") this letter to(from?) you as I am hearing (heard) there is a project established by you which needs assistance ("a project you established needs assistance" is smoother), and the project is aiming to resolve some environment problems. I always believe that environment plays a very important role in our common(daily?) life, so I would like to support you in the following ways.
The first point I can help is to collect environment data in our(my?) district as I have been lived(living) there for more than 10 years, that(. It) means I am very familiar with this area (This is obvious and no need to say). The second point that I can provide assistance (duplicated. Can be removed) is to do the environment data analyse(use noun "analysis" or gerund "analyzing") because I am a software engineer and maniputlating("using" is better. "Manipulate software" sounds weird to me) related anylyse(use "analysis". wrong spelling) software is my strong point. The last point that I can help in this project is I am a very friendly and welcoming people and(too many and. ". I believe you will ...") you will be very happly to cooperate with me.
I will be available from next month, to be exactly, 2012/12/21.
If you have any questions, pls do not hesitate to contact with me.
I look forward to hearing your feedback in the near future.
Yours faithfully,
ＸＸＸ
大作文：
Nowadays more and more counties choose to spend a lot of money to celebrate their public holidays, some(. Some) people challenged this because they thought these(this) money should be spent on other more valuable projects, from(. From) my point of view, the celebration of the public holidays is worth the money and it can be proved by the following points.
The first point is that people is emotional breeds so what they need are not only physical materials but aslo soul stuffs, and the public holidays represent a period of unforgettable time for the(I think it should be no "the". Even "them" may be better) people, as consequce("as a consequence". But here "in this way" is better) the people in this country will hold some celebration ceremony(ies) to memorize this(these) important momories.
The second point is although the celebrations for the public holidays will cost a huge amount of money, there will be a varity of relevent business firms that can benefit a lot of("get a lot of benefit". Check how to use benefit as a verb) from this. And the employees in these firms can enhance their living standards because of the profits that gained from the celebrations. At the same time, very successful celebrations can make the country to enjoy a more famous reputation in the whole world, as(. As) a result, this can attract more visitors from other countriies and this(duplicated subject) will assist this country’s tourism with nodoubt.
The further point that need to be discussed about the celebration is that it motivates innovations. Obviously to hold the celebrations needs a sort of different machines and technologies, and several related industries will invent a lot of new technologies to satisfy the demands of celebrations.
At last, it is very necessary to cosider why there are so many people blame these celebrations? The main reason is they believe there are more urgent situations that need the more than the celebrations, but in a healthy(healthily) developed society, there will be lese possiblity for these accidents.
In conclusion, when the government makes plans about how to spend their(the subject "gov" is singular, here should not use "their". "spend money" is OK) money, there should be some criterions existing(no need), but in healthy societies, the costs for the public holidays celebrations are essential.
[ 本帖最后由 superopengl 于 3-12-2012 10:34 编辑 ] |
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发表于 2-12-2012 23:57:15
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