偶没水平写正经英文，开始贴笑话吧

指纹

As above.

1.         Start of the list:

2.         My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

3.         Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"

        Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

        Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

        Patrick: "What school?"

4.         What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
        -
        Snowballs.

To be continued...

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yearshappy 发表于 20-9-2018 23:15
就叫笑话贴多好， 增加点幽默感

我这叫‘笑话吧’，吧比帖洋气

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yearshappy 发表于 20-9-2018 23:18
原来在说我土，土好， 接地气站的稳

土好，长出来的作物就好

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huanged 发表于 21-9-2018 10:04
There is one come into my mind. It's from Big Bang

"What is the common between black hole and {so ...

骂人

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Sleep with an open window tonight!

1400 mosquitos like that. 420 mosquitos commented on it. 210 mosquitos shared this.

One mosquito invited for the event. 2800 mosquitos will be attending the event.

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A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!”

Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.“

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Doctor: “Do you do sports?”

Patient: “Does sex count?”

Doctor: “Yes.”

Patient: “Then no.”

----------to be continued----------

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老毒物 发表于 22-9-2018 06:11
看标题，指纹必须写些不正经的，否则对不起大伙儿

贴个不正经的：

Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!

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yping88 发表于 22-9-2018 07:02
Hey, this totally cracked me up

You don't get to tell me what to do, you are not my daughter

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MillerYang 发表于 22-9-2018 11:38
记忆中有一首儿歌，大致是这个歌词：

太阳当空照，花儿对我笑

你这个版本为啥我们学校没教

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In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull’s testicles.
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One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: “Funny, why are they so small today?”
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The waiter: “Today, sir, the bull won.”

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A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?”
  
   The husband: “Are you mad? I barely know that woman!”

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Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.

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Police: “Open the door!”
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Man: “I don’t want any balls!”
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Police: “What? We don’t have any balls!”
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Man: “I know.”

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In a boomerang shop: "I'd like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?"

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MICHELLE07 发表于 22-9-2018 00:27
A prisoner is forced to go into one of three rooms, but he can choose which room.

The first room ...

the third one. obviously the pair of lions had killed each other or at least had half life left.

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MICHELLE07 发表于 22-9-2018 22:59
被你蒙对了
不过你想几年没吃了的狮子还能活吗？

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Men 1845: I just killed a buffalo.

Men 1952: I just fixed the roof.

Men 2017: I just shaved my legs. (comments: this is very true in China nowadays )

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I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.

So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?”

One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!”

So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?”

That’s about as far as I remember.

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A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.

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愚夫 发表于 24-9-2018 12:51
That's right, traditionally there were lots of messenger boys delivering letters/packages in the p ...

We've had enough people to do their job, so what's the point of AI?

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yping88 发表于 26-9-2018 10:37
A colleague/friend of mine has been frequently checking in on me at work: Are you upset? Did I do an ...

she must owe you a lot of money

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Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roastbeef. Please call the manager! “

Waiter: “That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.”

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So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!

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Q: What do politicians and diapers have in common?
-
A: Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.

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A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"

The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

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