分享学习计划+每天作文练习

shan8006

原帖由 hjx500 于 5-1-2011 21:15 发表

                               
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闪动你的精神很让我鼓舞，1月15号就要考试了，还是缺乏紧迫感。
从今天开始每天跟着LZ写作文，互相批改，互相提高。加油

Welcome brother!

shan8006

Moreover, news media plays an important role in instilling high moral values by reporting incidents with good or bad examples.
I confuse that whether the accusative could be omitted or not. If I write that maybe is:
Moreover, news media plays an important role in instilling high moral values into people by reporting incidents with good or bad examples.

revealing scandals   It seems like a good word

However, news media could have negative effects as well

how many people will be interested in the contents

is more and more crucial in contemporary society
"is" I confuse if use "are"???
increasingly might be better

Summarily, in terms of vocabulary. This essay is wonderful...at least I feel that, because I have learnt lots of vocabularies from your essay. And other things, there are a few grammar mistakes in this essay.
Keep it, I believe you can reach your target. I have to admit that you are better than me.

浮云云艾米莉

原帖由 hjx500 于 5-1-2011 21:18 发表

                               
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纸上写了一个小时，打出来的时候又改了不少，考试情况下肯定还连这个水平都写不到，继续努力！
News media has become influential to our life nowadays. Some people think that it is a negative development. T ...

改后版： 好吧其实是我随笔涂涂的。。。不好别打我 = =

It is widely believed that the information provided by media, regardless of based on paper such as newspapers, or based on technology such as television, radio and internet, has a tremendous impact on people’s daily lives. Whether the impact is benefit or not has resulted in controversial discussions recently. In my opinion, the advantages of this phenomenon overweigh its disadvantages when taken a closer look.

Generally, most of the news delivered by media is proved to be accurate and instant, which benefits both individuals and society. For of all, we are living in an information era. And for the human beings today, it has become part of human nature to be curious about what is happening this minute everywhere in the world. Secondly, highly influenced by news media, our decisions everyday are made more or less based on the information provided. From as major as a business decision on whether or not to sell a stock to as simple as whether we should bring an umbrella, our lives are driven by the information. Moreover, news media plays an important role in setting up moral values by paying respect to the heroes and criticizing the villains. Our society needs good discipline, and news media promotes it in a mellow and non-offensive way. Revealing scandals like corruption also helps to monitor and boost efficiency in government behaviours.

However, news media could have negative effect as well. Some news could be over-exaggerated, misleading or even falsified. As a large proportion of news media companies are money driven, they may only care about making the content appealing to the public, even though the truth says otherwise. People may end up misjudging the situation after receiving wrong information. Nevertheless, as we are living in an open-minded society, there will be various voices on the same event with different opinions. Grownups are responsible for their own judgments, and they will know which source to trust by time. The truth will be revealed in due time.

In conclusion, news media, as a way of delivering information, is more and more crucial in contemporary society. This is an irreversible trend and people will continue to benefit from it.

shan8006

原帖由 hjx500 于 5-1-2011 22:45 发表

                               
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Answer:

In this day and age, news media have swayedpeople's daily lives increasingly. consequently应该更恰当， whether it is a negative development ora positive development,这个地方你用)

No doub ...

Em...In my view, you should ... express things in English ,because you will attend IELTS test soon... try it I advised. It also benefit your speaking. As your time is not enough to improve your English. But you could become accustomed to use English.

your comment is correct. But I think I could come up with. GO GO!

By the way. I never think I'll fail this competition.

shan8006

原帖由 narcsity 于 6-1-2011 02:10 发表

                               
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握手！我也是十五号考，华东师大。
好运！

555, me too."华东师大"in Shanghai. 3/19
You can do this! I believe!

shan8006

原帖由 EmilyS 于 6-1-2011 03:52 发表

                               
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改后版： 好吧其实是我随笔涂涂的。。。不好别打我 = =

It is widely believed that the information provided by media, regardless of based on paper such as newspapers, or based on technology such as ...

To some extent, I'm keen to watch your essay. I believe I'll learn much via that.

emilyli

原帖由 shan8006 于 26-12-2010 00:44 发表

                               
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你说的很对，我对语法已经到了深恶痛绝的程度，但不能歇，一歇我就会去玩怪物猎人三了，一边练习一边慢慢改吧。
by the way，我好想玩怪物猎人三啊。。。。

不能玩呀~送符咒语给你~~

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shan8006

原帖由 emilyli 于 6-1-2011 14:47 发表

                               
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不能玩呀~送符咒语给你~~157318
想玩的时候拿出来瞧瞧~~

Hugely Give Power

salime

shan同学真是越来越渐入佳境了，以这样的毅力和进步的速度，再提高下语法，4个7真是指日可待了。看来我也要实行跟楼主一样的策略了，加油！

shan8006

The nineteenth essay

Some people believe individuals are more important in taking care of environment, others thinks governments should be major responsible to it. Discuss and give your opinion.

Answer:

As environmental problems have become increasingly grievous in this day and age, people start to argue that whether individuals or governments should make efforts to improve those.

No doubt that, individuals' efforts always play the vital role in improving environmental problems. First and foremost, every people could easier to do that segregating wasts that cannot break down or decompose from garbage which can be recycled thereby reducing environmental pollution. Futhermore, people could refuse to use some disposable things for the sake of relieving the strain for natural resources. For instance, people could choose papery bags or shopping bags to replace plastic bags. Additionally, vehicle always cause severe air pollution as a vast deal with exhaust would be discharged to air by them. So car ownerships could opt for public transportation instead of driving their cars.

Similarly, governments are also important in combatting environmental issues. Because, they have power to restrict or even ban some detrimental phenomena or behaviour, which would aggravate environmental pollution. For example, Cachous have been ban in some countries as they are hardly to be cleared and seriously pollute surrounding. Moreover, some manufactories drain effluent sewage directly into the river and continue to emit a large quantities of poisonous gas to the air. In terms of this, individuals are helpless but governments could take measure to tackle these kind of ploblems. Contrarily, governments could not order individuals to improve environment compulsorily, that must depend on individuals' own awareness.

In conclusion, governments and individuals all have duties to improve environment. More precisely, both should make a concerted effort to combat environmental problems.

shan8006

原帖由 salime 于 6-1-2011 16:54 发表

                               
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shan同学真是越来越渐入佳境了，以这样的毅力和进步的速度，再提高下语法，4个7真是指日可待了。看来我也要实行跟楼主一样的策略了，加油！

play up!

crystal08418

太狠了！！！果断设为桌面

shan8006

原帖由 crystal08418 于 6-1-2011 22:32 发表

                               
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太狠了！！！果断设为桌面

Me too

hjx500

这篇又写了超过一小时。。。。考试要这样就完蛋了。。。明天要更紧迫一点

Some people believe individuals are more important in taking care of environment, others thinks governments should be major responsible to it. Discuss and give your opinion.

According to recent statistics, it is evidently that the environment on earth is undergoing unprecedented deteriorating. Most people would agree that we must take measures to curb this trend. But there is still controversy on whether individuals or governments should take more responsibility in protecting environment. In my point of view, both of them are playing an important and irreplaceable role in combating the situation.

The environment situation is closely linked with government behaviours; as countries can be quite different in terms of environmental policies, leading to different natural conditions. At first, governments have the power to boost invest in specific types of industry. If they are willing to put more money in eco-friendly technologies, such as solar power or genetic engineering, people will be rewarded by the nature. Moreover, individual behaviour can be changed by government means. For example, increasing the tax in petrol will make people a higher chance of choosing public transportations, thereby reducing carbon dioxide emission. At last, government could produce propaganda to raise people’s awareness of protecting environment.

However, environmental problem cannot be ultimately resolved without personal efforts. Obviously, pollution has no boundaries. Gas emitted in China could be responsible for an acid rain happened in Japan. Usually it is hard for different countries to arrive at an agreement on protecting environment because it is often related to economical and political merits.  If everyone have the will to reduce the consumption of products which may have negative impact on environment like plastic bags. The situation will be totally different.

In conclusion, government policies can influence the environment directly. Meanwhile, individual efforts are also indispensable. In fact, everybody has the responsibility of taking care of the only planet we have discovered which is suitable for human, the earth.

[ 本帖最后由 hjx500 于 7-1-2011 09:57 编辑 ]

salime

楼上的把题目也贴上吧，写的挺好的，学习了，我也写的慢，总是想字斟句酌每一句话

浮云云艾米莉

原帖由 shan8006 于 6-1-2011 22:24 发表

                               
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The nineteenth essay

Some people believe individuals are more important in taking care of environment, others thinks governments should be major responsible to it. Discuss and give your opinion.

...

改后版。仅供参考。

As environmental problems have become a pervasive global concern, people start to argue whether individuals or the government should make efforts to prioritize and resolve the issue.

There is no doubt that any individual’s efforts play a vital role in improving the environment. First and foremost, it takes a second for everyone to separate the daily wastes and recycle the degradable paper cups and plastic bags thereby reducing the environmental pollution. Furthermore, individuals can also choose not to use disposable items made from non-recyclable material, but to use eco-friendly products instead. For instance, people could use paper bags or permanent shopping totes to replace plastic bags. In addition, vehicles for private use could also be sent for annual examination to make sure the emission and exhaust system is working in an optimum condition so that the toxic fumes will be collected. Car owners are also encouraged to make full use of public transportations as much as possible, instead of driving individually.

Similarly, the government is also contributing a lot in saving the environment. They have the supreme power to regulate or even forbid some detrimental phenomena or behaviours, conducted by individuals or corporations, which would exacerbate environmental contamination. For example, Cachous have been banned in some countries as they are difficult to be cleared and can cause serious pollution to the surroundings. Moreover, some manufactories drain effluent sewage directly into the river and continue to emit a large amount of poisonous gas to the air. In terms of this kind of massive situation or corporate conducts, individuals are helpless. Only the government could take measures to tackle these kinds of problems. Contrarily, governments could not order individuals to improve environment compulsorily. It all depends on each individual's own awareness.

In conclusion, the government and individuals both have duties respectively to improve the environment. More precisely, both should make a concerted effort to overcome the environmental problems.

shan8006

原帖由 hjx500 于 7-1-2011 01:10 发表

                               
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这篇又写了超过一小时。。。。考试要这样就完蛋了。。。明天要更紧迫一点

According to recent statistics, it is evidently that the environment on earth is undergoing unprecedented deteriorating. Most pe ...

憋不住了，实在是太复杂的东西没办法用英语说。
时间不够有几个方面的原因。
1。对这个话题不熟悉，其实多练习就好了，我本来也这样，现在写熟悉的话题40分钟足够了。
2。有个方法很推荐，那就是列提纲。用中文英文都可以，每段要写什么，有什么原因。然后照着提纲写。
前面在外面和同事喝了点酒，英文看不进去了。明天再上来看。

shan8006

原帖由 salime 于 7-1-2011 02:18 发表

                               
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楼上的把题目也贴上吧，写的挺好的，学习了，我也写的慢，总是想字斟句酌每一句话

前面提到的针对蜜蜂兄的方法，你也可以尝试一下。

shan8006

原帖由 EmilyS 于 7-1-2011 03:24 发表

                               
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改后版。仅供参考。

As environmental problems have become a pervasive global concern, people start to argue whether individuals or the government should make efforts to prioritize and resolve th ...

谢谢^_^，明天细看。Thanks for your time.

hjx500

题目和LZ最近的一篇是一样的，好吧，我贴上了

shan8006

Today's Topic

Some people say that developing should firstly expand tourism. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

shan8006

原帖由 hjx500 于 7-1-2011 01:10 发表

                               
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这篇又写了超过一小时。。。。考试要这样就完蛋了。。。明天要更紧迫一点

Some people believe individuals are more important in taking care of environment, others thinks governments should be major resp ...

这篇文章若还不能得7分，我也没信心继续复习了。错误是没找到，虽然我已经用上放大镜了。
结构合理，通篇都很切题，词汇量也很大，变化丰富。特别是这个结尾，收的非常棒，能做到既不带个人感情色彩还有强烈的感染力。
可能需要注意的也就是写作时间，和首段背景介绍太多。

shan8006

原帖由 EmilyS 于 7-1-2011 03:24 发表

                               
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改后版。仅供参考。

As environmental problems have become a pervasive global concern, people start to argue whether individuals or the government should make efforts to prioritize and resolve th ...

学习了，同样的意思经过你的改动后看上去高级多了。555，真是打击啊。看我还要走的路还很长。十分感谢。

shan8006

这篇文章花了我四个多小时，其中穿插着很多事情，又接孩子，又烧了一顿饭。写着写着原本清晰地思路也开始混乱。最后总体看了一下，感觉好像开头还行，后面逻辑不太合理。
The twentieth essay

Some people say that developing should firstly expand tourism. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer:

The countries on this planet are developing rapidly because of world peace in this day and age. As tourism has brought a vast number of profits to some countries, some people start to argue whether give the priority to tourism when a country is developing.

As a matter of fact, developing tourism firstly would really benefit a nation for various areas. First and foremost, the gorgeous tourist attractions of nations would lead them becoming more famous around the world. In consequence, there are large numbers of exotic investment would be attracted thereby boosting domestic economic progress. Subsequently, Those exotic investment could be used to develop another aspects of national progressing. Thailand and Indonesia are the best illustrated examples to confirm this point. They have benefited from tourism enormously. But, on the other hand, it is seems like that they are just famous for their natural beauty.

So. However, giving priority to tourism development is accompanied by some negative effects. Firstly, the native culture would be impacted by tourism. The host tourists from foreign countries would bring not only huge profits but also diverse culture what would erode domestic culture. Furthermore, numerous tourists would cause some environmental problems and drive up the incidence of crime. Too many people could put a strain on the already crowded ground. Severe traffic jams would be occur; thefts would easier find their targets. Because of these respects, a developing country would has not enough capabilities to control the situation as it just develop tourism at first. In the course of time, it would lost its main cultural identity.

Summarily, in my opinion, the development of tourism is important to nations, but giving priority to it might cause a consequence —— countries earn huge profits with sacrificing their own cultural identities.

[ 本帖最后由 shan8006 于 7-1-2011 23:13 编辑 ]

hjx500

这篇问题还是很明显的·，语法错误少的原因是，我先在纸上写，然后写完了再打出来，word有自动语法检查，所以很多写的时候的错误被更正了。
另外，句式重复的还是比较多，很多词我写的时候拼命想换一个表达，但是·就是想不出来，只好还是一个词来回用，比如environment behavior  

我觉得写作提高是需要长期坚持才能有效果的，没有太多窍门，就是多读多写，积累得多了慢慢就好了。 每天写一篇很好，坚持下去，但是写完了还要多分析，每一篇看看能怎么改进，下次写的时候就注意一些之前的问题。 加油吧，哥们儿我看好你的。

浮云云艾米莉

原帖由 shan8006 于 7-1-2011 19:18 发表

                               
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学习了，同样的意思经过你的改动后看上去高级多了。555，真是打击啊。看我还要走的路还很长。十分感谢。

不要被打击。。。我写作是8分的。。。加油！！

salime

原帖由 EmilyS 于 8-1-2011 01:41 发表

                               
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不要被打击。。。我写作是8分的。。。加油！！

admire 高人！

shan8006

原帖由 hjx500 于 7-1-2011 23:39 发表

                               
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这篇问题还是很明显的·，语法错误少的原因是，我先在纸上写，然后写完了再打出来，word有自动语法检查，所以很多写的时候的错误被更正了。
另外，句式重复的还是比较多，很多词我写的时候拼命想换一个表达，但是· ...

加油！你一定行的。

shan8006

原帖由 EmilyS 于 8-1-2011 01:41 发表

                               
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不要被打击。。。我写作是8分的。。。加油！！

没想到我这个贴子竟然有那么多高人相助，实在是备感荣幸。 谢谢

shan8006

今天老婆生病，请假一天。蜜蜂兄，不好意思，今天要让你孤军奋战了，加油。