FreeOZ论坛

标题: 再请3WU给拍一下大作文 [打印本页]

作者: shan.gavin 时间: 16-9-2010 16:16
标题: 再请3WU给拍一下大作文

somepeople think that it is more important for a single language as aninternational offical language. others think that it will make itdifficult to identify countries and loss culture. what's your opinion?and show your reason and example .
有一些人认为选一种单一的语言作为国际通用的官方语言很重要，有的人认为很难让这么多国家统一语言，而且还会导致文化流失。你的观点是什么，表明自己的观点，并举例子。

Nowdays,the contacts among countries become more and more frequently andcommonly, it says that the whole world has become a small village. Atthe processing of globalization, language really plays an importantrole which affect the mutual understand of people who are different innationalities, skin colour, race, religion, social philosophy and soon. As countries interact intensely with one and another, the work ofmaintaining every countries original civilization is of greatimportance.

Asfar as I am concerned, I prefer diversify cultures existing together inthe international affairs to a single language separately being anglobal official language. It is really tough to pick up one that suitsto be the international language from hundreds and thousands oflanguages. Some people may argue that English is the perfect choice,for it is the most widely used arround the world. From this point ofview, Chinese is a better choice than English, because there are morethan 1.3 billion people making Chinese as their first language, whichaccount 1/5 of the world population. There are also other languagesused by relatively less people in various small countries, all thelanguages are organic part of their conventional culture which handedby generations and generations. Furthermore, there are more dif!ficulties to promote the uniform language through the whole earth, andobviously there is no need to do so.

Languagesare a typical representative of different national cultures, it is thedistinctiveness of various cultures that make the world morediversified. As for the international communication, each countryshould keep their own languages, the most practicable way is tocultivate the language experts that can be proficient both in his ownlanguage and other foreign languages. Definitly, it is easier tocultivate language experts than to identify all the countries with onelanguage.

Allin all, there is no need to make a single language as an internationalofficial language, and respect the diversity of each countriesconventional culture can make our world more colorful and interesting.

作者: 3WU 时间: 16-9-2010 17:02
嘘~~~~~~~~~ 旗子要举那么高啊。。。

大家交流一下而已。欢迎大家参与。

首先看你对题目的中文的翻译就有误：“make it difficult to identify countries and loss culture”----是分辨国界/国家/民族和丧失民族传统。

第二，我还是比较佩服自己能看懂 LZ 众多的新颖的“连词”

说回文章：请好好回顾上一篇中我的意见。问题依然存在。
第一段没看到立意和中心。
第二段算是看到主张，但没看到支持的例证，可以说是段内偏题，失去中心。
“I prefer diversify cultures ” 明明提出culture.. 后面却说 single language. 第一句内部提出中心的时候就已经打架了。后面又说 "tough to pick up one " (暂时算是重新提出观点)。。。到后面例证又提出 “English is the perfect choice,for it is the most widely used arround the world”（真个更像你想用的观点）。。可是这个观点跟题目的意思（看上面红字）是不是有点不搭界？给了一堆不应该根据人口选择语言的例证以后。很惊奇地发现，最后回到了原来观点 “dif!ficulties to promote the uniform language”

第三段依然保持跳跃式前进模式。。。。。

作者: Xavy 时间: 16-9-2010 17:08
三无，要不咱两开个作文辅导班吧，我是会计，可以负责记账，挣了银子你7我3
我看行

作者: figaroshen 时间: 16-9-2010 17:13
一些用词也有些问题..就拿第一段说:
1.Nowdays应该是Nowadays, 这个词正式文章中我建议也少用,太简单;
2.contacts among countries 和你想表达的意思不完全吻合...建议用communications
3.frequently and commonly这边不需要用副词,去掉ly..另外表述略显肤浅
4.it says that..不是很规范的书面文章书写. 而且即便是非书面也应该说 It's said that
5.At the processing of globalization一定要这么写的话请改成As the process of globalization
6.affect需要加s
7.understand需要加ing
8.one and another的and去掉
9.every countries original civilization 改成every country of its original civilization

作者: shan.gavin 时间: 16-9-2010 17:22

原帖由 3WU 于 16-9-2010 17:02 发表

 登录/注册后可看大图

嘘~~~~~~~~~ 旗子要举那么高啊。。。大家交流一下而已。欢迎大家参与。

首先看你对题目的中文的翻译就有误：“make it difficult to identify countries and loss culture”----是分辨国界/国家/民族和 ...

3WU的点评确实管用，我也发现我自己需要多加练习啊，可是时间不等人呐，呵呵～。按你的意思重写了一下，不知道看起来好点没。至于money，我会多挣点，然后分你们一点啊，现在只能表示感謝了，呵呵

English, as one of designated international language becomes popular more and more since last century, and the heated argument behind the trend has been existing for several decades. Some people warm that uniformed international language will make it hard to identify countries and lose culture, but others persist in the importance introduced by single official language globally. Personally, I am more declined to the later one.

As relative statistics indicates, millions of dollars are spent on language translations. In order for smooth communications among those who have different languages, transformation to intermediate one becomes the ultimate barrier, and normally the third parties and agents are invited to eliminate that with huge pay. At the meanwhile, this decreases the effectiveness of the communication process. Moreover, misunderstandings, or even conflicts are produced when two peers are expressing their own comments using the the languages of themselves sometimes, thereby unexpected results make them feel puzzled. Last but not least, people is spending more time t to learn international languages like English than ever for self-expressing in front of foreigners. With uniformed international language, people need not spend time on obsolete ones, the money paid to the 3rd parties and agents is unnecessary, productive communication can be achieved obviously, and misunderstandings can be eliminated as well.

It is not denied that identifying countries becomes difficult, and culture loss with single international official language. The nature of each particular language is uniqueness. What is meant by this is that language is the one of the common symbols for those who have same language, and it should be identification to judge which country the language owner is from. That one language is different from another one, and the differentiated feature should be part of the national cultures.

In conclusion, the importance of adapting single international official language becomes obvious with rapid pace of globalization, and I believe uniformed language will be more beneficial to overall society, even it will introduce minor problems like culture loss.

作者: 3WU 时间: 16-9-2010 18:12

原帖由 Xavy 于 16-9-2010 17:08 发表

 登录/注册后可看大图

三无，要不咱两开个作文辅导班吧，我是会计，可以负责记账，挣了银子你7我3
我看行

开学堂。。。呵呵。。不敢当。。。切磋切磋而已。。。倒是 Xavy 开了会计师事务所可要给咱家兄弟姐妹一点折扣。。。呵呵。

作者: 3WU 时间: 16-9-2010 18:17

原帖由 shan.gavin 于 16-9-2010 17:22 发表

 登录/注册后可看大图

3WU的点评确实管用，我也发现我自己需要多加练习啊，可是时间不等人呐，呵呵～。按你的意思重写了一下，不知道看起来好点没。至于money，我会多挣点，然后分你们一点啊，现在只能表示感謝了，呵呵

English, a ...

嗯。。给你个建议。只用名词（记得词性，中英文皆可），把题目立意列出来。给出 3个相关观点（记住是名词）。每个观点给出支持的理由（注意是支持的，名词或词组）。

列完以后回头看看这几个名词是否有紧密的关系。然后再准备如何用这些已列出名词。

希望这样可以帮你防止偏题。

作者: rommi 时间: 16-9-2010 18:20
提示: 作者被禁止或删除, 无法发言 3无看来作文很好啊

作者: shan.gavin 时间: 16-9-2010 18:58

原帖由 3WU 于 16-9-2010 18:17 发表

 登录/注册后可看大图

嗯。。给你个建议。只用名词（记得词性，中英文皆可），把题目立意列出来。给出 3个相关观点（记住是名词）。每个观点给出支持的理由（注意是支持的，名词或词组）。

列完以后回头看看这几个 ...

你感觉第二个作文能得个几分来着？我的要求不高，６分就好了，哈哈

作者: 3WU 时间: 16-9-2010 19:59
离题作文。我不知道怎么打分合适。给5吧。

作者: xiaoping410 时间: 17-9-2010 01:46

原帖由 3WU 于 16-9-2010 17:02 发表

 登录/注册后可看大图

嘘~~~~~~~~~ 旗子要举那么高啊。。。大家交流一下而已。欢迎大家参与。

首先看你对题目的中文的翻译就有误：“make it difficult to identify countries and loss culture”----是分辨国界/国家/民族和 ...

冲3WU老师严谨治学严厉打分的态度进来膜拜的

作者: xiaoping410 时间: 17-9-2010 01:49
本帖最后由 xiaoping410 于 3-1-2015 23:09 编辑

原帖由 3WU 于 16-9-2010 18:12 发表

 登录/注册后可看大图

开学堂。。。呵呵。。不敢当。。。切磋切磋而已。。。倒是 Xavy 开了会计师事务所可要给咱家兄弟姐妹一点折扣。。。呵呵。

.....？

作者: shan.gavin 时间: 17-9-2010 12:11

原帖由 xiaoping410 于 17-9-2010 01:49 发表

 登录/注册后可看大图

Xavy，你们还需要人手吗，我也是学会计的，能来应聘吗？

现在人员基本满了，呵呵，不过还需要和我一样打杂的，不要小看打杂的，可以和3wu免费学英語

欢迎光临 FreeOZ论坛 (https://www.freeoz.org/ibbs/)