I am writing to request an extention to the return date of the books I borrowed. It was about one month ago, I borrowed three books from the Library, so they are supposed to be returned by next Monday.
Unpredictably, I have to stay in the hospital to take care of my brother, since he was injured in a serious accident yesterday morning. I rushed to the hospital and found his situation is not good. I am afraid I could not get back within at least two weeks. Besides, Martin, my roommate, also went out, and the time when he will be back is unsure at the moment. Otherwise, he would be able to help me return the books. For the above reasons, it is almost impossible for me to get them back in time.
I am deeply sorry for the late return. However, I would appreciate it very much if you could allow me a two weeks' extenstion. I promise to return them as soon as I am back. Thank you very much for your understanding and kindness help. I am looking forward your reply.
第二，也是中国人写英语的通病： 顽强不息，就是不爱放手，不爱断气。 如果你在一个很长的句子里，发现你能用 and 来分隔句子的时候，请考虑一下你是不是可以用full stop..并且使用一个更好的转接词，以此显示你对句子承上启下的掌握水平。
最后给点修改：
原文“I am really sorry for returning the books late. I promise to return them as soon as I am back. I will appreciate it very much if you could give me two more weeks' time to return them.
Your Sincerely
”
根据原文的修改：
Once again, I am deeply sorry for the late return. However, I would appreciate if you could allow us a loan extenstion for 2 weeks. I promise to return them as soon as I am back. Thank you very much for your understanding and kindness help. I am looking forward your reply.
Your(s) Sincerely，
* 1） 如果你之前已经道歉，建议使用 （Once again）
2） 注意逗号 after yours
3) 文章开头 写 I am writing to request a loan extension on two books I borrowed from you xxx ago.作者: nicoleflopy 时间: 7-8-2010 19:21 标题: 回复 #3 3WU 的帖子 改动的地方一针见血啊，好强大。最后一段我们改的时候也觉得不好，需要加强，但是想破脑袋也就只想到这么写了。
文章的主题的确偏掉了！写信不是来道歉的，应该是来请求一个更长的还书期限的。
