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标题: 原创E文小说(9.30更新至15)- Would you marry me anyway, would you have my baby? [打印本页]

作者: lisa2008    时间: 4-8-2010 12:19
标题: 原创E文小说(9.30更新至15)- Would you marry me anyway, would you have my baby?


If I were a carpenter
And you were a lady,
Would you marry me anyway?
Would you have my baby?

.....

"If I Were A Carpenter" - a song





1

“OKok, you start as a receptionist tomorrow!” The boss shouted suddenly, to conclude the conversation.

Shocked by the scene in front of her, Vivian felt she could hardly breathe or think.

As a 23-year-old young girl who grew up from a well educated family, whose father was a professor in university and the only man in the family, Vivian, in her young life, had never ever seen a man losing his manner like that .

The air was frozen, so was her brain or lips.

She felt she was being thrown into desperate silence. His big fat face, turned into deep red ...  or purple more exactly. The funny yellow tie around his short neck therefore became even more garish and discordant. His bloodshot eyes were staring straightly at her pale face, mercilessly, full of anger.

This might be the job she had loved and enjoyed the most in her short professional career. An electronic engineer - just perfectly matched her major in university. But a minute ago the boss told her to work as receptionist tomorrow.

“Have you decided?” Vivian said. She could hear the poor pen in her boss's hand was held so tightly that it made painful noises.

“Yes!”, shouted again the boss.

“Then sir, I resign, now!” Vivian said with an elegant smile. Just such a release!! Then she stood up from the low chair, opened the door, walked out, and closed it, leaving the big shocking fat red face and her headaches these days all behind.

It's your turn now boss, she thought.

Her smile was proud. Well done girl, she said to herself.

A warm salty tear drop slid into her mouth.







[ 本帖最后由 lisa2008 于 30-9-2010 16:24 编辑 ]
作者: lisa2008    时间: 4-8-2010 12:25
打算试着用英语写小说。请问版主,应该选那个主题标签来分类?

现在我选的是others, 但是不太喜欢这个类别
作者: ubuntuhk    时间: 5-8-2010 14:02
原创啊,当然要来顶一下
作者: pinxinge    时间: 5-8-2010 14:30
提示: 作者被禁止或删除, 无法发言 崇拜啊,用英文写小说啦。期待下文中。。。
作者: 四香油饼    时间: 5-8-2010 17:03
能把俺写进去不?
作者: coredump    时间: 5-8-2010 17:07
原帖由 四香油饼 于 5-8-2010 16:03 发表
能把俺写进去不?
"big and fat, now turned into deep red..." it's you[size=13.8889px]
作者: fsgpm    时间: 5-8-2010 17:41
写得真好!
作者: 罗卜扛大包    时间: 5-8-2010 17:43
哇哦,高手露笔。

Lisa这是重操旧业,还是闲来玩票。
作者: lisa2008    时间: 10-8-2010 23:47

2

Vivian was waken up by the sharp alarm of the clock on the second morning.

6:30am, regular time to get up for work. It just took one moment before Vivian realized that today there was actually no work to get up for.

When something becomes regular in our daily life, we call it habit. Following habits normally makes people feel comfortable, relax and safe. The habits can be any kind, such as getting up at same time everyday, drinking same herbal tea, listening to same lovely music, etc.

But funny thing is, when situation changes, habit may become strange. It may even play as a cruel lonely ghost who steps out suddenly in front of you, just to remind you how happy the old days were, and how sad the current is.

Now the cruel lonely ghost named habit, stood over there in the corner, laughing at Vivian.

Music, I need music! Vivian jumped up from bed and turned on the CD player on the table.

A song immediately floated in the air......

This was her ex boyfriend's most favorite song – When My Hand Run Through Your Hair. Vivian couldn't remember how many nights when they sat back to back under the moonlight with her long hair on his wide shoulder, he played this song with guitar and sang softly. Time passed so slowly then, as if it would never end.


When my hand ran through your hair

And when my eyes saw through your mind

In a blink of an eye a deep love went into the air

And I don't understand why ocean could turn into fields in one night

When helpless I longed for your hands to hold.

and for your glance to light up my gloomy eyes

Even if the world we lived in stayed cruel and cold

At least I had your smile to melt all the ice



But all were gone, except for the memory and the song.

Change is the only thing that never changes.

She remembered clearly about the last argument between them, as if it just happened yesterday. They were both heavily injured.

She would never forget that day in her life, as well as what she promised to herself: I swear I will make my life full of sunshine and happiness, with my own hands.

“Yes, I swear ” Vivian said to herself “I will make my life full of sunshine and happiness, with my own hands.”




[ 本帖最后由 lisa2008 于 5-9-2010 19:24 编辑 ]
作者: lisa2008    时间: 11-8-2010 00:05
标题: 回复 #8 罗卜扛大包 的帖子
写着玩啊先
作者: lisa2008    时间: 13-8-2010 14:41
3.        

Nowhere to go, no job to do, no people to see. Life fell into empty suddenly.

While she was trancing her mobile phone rang. It was Cheng Xiaoyang, a university buddy who was working in a Japanese company's Beijing Office  selling electronic equipments.

“Hi Xiaoyang ……”

“I'm visiting a customer whose office is close to yours. Lunch together?” Xiaoyang started the talk directly to the subject as always, with a tone that could hardly be refused.

Vivian could easily imagine when he was saying these words a big smile was always on his face. As a locally grow-up Beijing guy, Xiaoyang was a style that you could tell he was from Beijing at the first instant: height 1.80, dark skin, deep voice, big bright smile when talking, good sense of humor, frequently used words such as “Ya ” “Da Lao Ye Men(er)”, etc, etc.

“I'm no longer working there”, Vivian said, “quit yesterday”

“Hei, what happened buddy, you fired the boss AGAIN?” Xiaoyang laughed on the other side of the phone. Xiaoyang knew almost all of Vivian's work stories after graduation, including the stories about this ridiculous German boss. “Not bad, no longer serving ‘Ya De’,congratulations for freedom! Then I'll get you for lunch around your home. See you at 11:30?”

“OK, see you then.”


[ 本帖最后由 lisa2008 于 20-8-2010 11:27 编辑 ]
作者: 心的旅行    时间: 13-8-2010 17:53
俺一般拿中文说事,这样方显俺水平
作者: pinxinge    时间: 13-8-2010 18:04
提示: 作者被禁止或删除, 无法发言 粉丝报道。
提个意见。Da Lao Ye Men should be Da Lao Ye Men'er.
作者: ghrong    时间: 13-8-2010 20:45
注意一下时态, 怎么一会过去时, 一会现在时?
作者: lisa2008    时间: 14-8-2010 16:08
4.

An ordinary noon of June in Beijing.
Sunny, hot and noisy.


11:30, Xiaoyang's taxi arrived at the gate of Vivian's apartment building. It was a 22 storey-tower close to the north east 3rd ring road. Vivian's small one-bedroom rented apartment was on the 5th floor.

Vivian came out from the gate. She was a slender tall girl with oval face and straight black hair. She ware a sky blue skirt, looked like a student who just entered university.

Xiaoyang sat in the taxi, with a classic big smile on the face. “Come on, be happy! I said I bet you wouldn't be working there for long, haha!”

“Crow mouth!” Vivian couldn't help laughing together.

They were so familiar to each other. A week ago at a friends party when Vivian complained about the recent headaches of work, Xiaoyang joked that he wouldn't be surprised at all if hearing Vivian quit her third job.



[ 本帖最后由 lisa2008 于 16-8-2010 12:01 编辑 ]
作者: lisa2008    时间: 14-8-2010 16:10
5.

Vivian's famous words being spread among the friends was that she would rather giving up a job than working for a bad boss. Bad boss could be any kind: not fair, not capable, bad reputation, etc. The German boss might be catalogued as having bad reputation. When Vivian joined this Chinese-German JV company 8 months ago, she heard staffs called him womanizer in secret. He was dispatched to China by the company's headquarter and his wife and two kids were still in Germany. He had an assistant and an interpreter, both were pretty young girls.

At the beginning Vivian thought it shouldn't bother herself anyway because she was employed as an Electronic Engineer. Her office was far away from the boss and she had her own supervisor to report to. Vivian was a kind of girl who was soft on the outside but hard on the inside. She admired those successful women in business or society and dreamed one day she could become one of them. She had good education, she was intelligent, she was hard working, she was confident, and she was pretty. It seemed that nothing in the world could stop her from making her dream come true.

She was just too proud.

Good days never lasted long. A couple of weeks ago, when having lunch together at the staff canteen, the assistant hinted Vivian that the boss would like to have a Secretary, and he thought Vivian was the best candidate.

Headaches started since then. Vivian tried to avoid directly saying no as she knew the boss's style. But hide and seek game could never be the solution. All ended up at the argument between Vivian and the boss yesterday.

What a costly relief.

[ 本帖最后由 lisa2008 于 14-8-2010 18:08 编辑 ]
作者: lisa2008    时间: 14-8-2010 16:17
标题: 回复 #13 pinxinge 的帖子
ok
作者: lisa2008    时间: 14-8-2010 16:18
标题: 回复 #14 ghrong 的帖子
旅行途中分几次写的,没来的及仔细校对就发了
作者: lisa2008    时间: 16-8-2010 13:12
6

Mid 90s Beijing. Private cars were very rare then. Streets were filled by taxies called “Mian Di” and “Xia Li” and their raspy horn. Mian Di looked like a toast bread colored in yellow or white, while Xia Li looked like a small thin beetle in red. Obviously most local drivers at the time were not so used to the imported car culture yet, they actually tended to drive in a concept same as riding bicycles. A typical proof was that whenever there was a gap in between, a car nearby would immediately change its line to fill it up regardless of the traffic rules.

Their red beetle taxi was one of them. While Xiaoyang and Vivian were talking the grumpy driver was busy changing lines and blowing his horn, although it did not let them move faster.

“Where are we going?” Vivian asked.

“Jin Shan Cheng Hot Pot.”

“Sounds good”

Jin Shan Cheng was a Sichuan restaurant famous of spicy hot pot. It was not far away from Vivian's home.

Vivian grew up from a southern city famous of spicy food in China. She couldn't live without chili. Particularly whenever she was under pressure eating spicy food was found the best therapy. Xiaoyang knew this well when they were in university.

Vivian stole a glance at Xiaoyang when he was checking his mobile message. He was considerate of her, as always. She knew he liked her since long time ago, though he never said it out.

He was her ex boyfriend's buddy.

[ 本帖最后由 lisa2008 于 16-8-2010 17:56 编辑 ]
作者: pinxinge    时间: 16-8-2010 13:48
提示: 作者被禁止或删除, 无法发言 报道来了,比起那种写国外的文字,这种熟悉的感觉俺喜欢。
作者: nizi    时间: 16-8-2010 14:33
不看不知道,一看吓一跳,LISA真不是一般的才女,而且人也漂亮,乐观,积极,感谢自转体小说,写得感人而有趣。非常有意思!
作者: nizi    时间: 16-8-2010 14:35
She couldn't live without chili

我也一样
作者: lisa2008    时间: 19-8-2010 16:08
标题: 回复 #22 nizi 的帖子
据说从一个人是否能吃辣椒,可以看出他/她的人生态度是open还是conservative
作者: lisa2008    时间: 19-8-2010 16:09
7.

The taxi finally stopped at Jin Shan Cheng Hot Pot. It was a restaurant facing the main north 3rd ring road, occupying the lowest two stories of an apartment building. Xiaoyang pushed open the door. Instantly Vivian was hit with the strong mixing smell of spicy oil, alcohol and smoking, and the scene of the loudly chatting crowd ...... but gosh, today she just simply loved it.

They were led to a small table beside the window. Xiaoyang ordered a spicy pot with fish, tofu and vegetable.

“What's next?” Xiaoyang lit a cigarette for himself. He knew Vivian didn't smoke.

“Go ahead, find a new job. Need money to pay bills.”

“What type of job?”

“Technical or business, best in a western company. Don't want to give up my major and English practicing.”

“Ha, little girl.” Xiaoyang smiled softly, spitting a big smoke ring in the air, slowly.

Vivian knew what he meant. They had been talking about similar subjects since graduation. Vivian believed her best advantage was the major, and based on this she made it a principle that she only choose technical or business jobs instead of administration ones. This was also partly the reason that she refused the German boss's offer of being his Secretary. Obviously such principle had greatly narrowed the scope for choices, but Vivian thought it was worthwhile and her luck was proved to be not too bad. Xiaoyang's views were just opposite. “Forget about the major, it's rubbish.” he once told Vivian, “Making money as early as possible” “Chances would never always be there waiting for you so you should grasp it without hesitation no matter what it takes.” “Don't be too naïve.” he emphasized.

They even discussed strongly about this for a couple of times. No one could convince the other. Whenever Xiaoyang said those words such as “forget about the principle” “forget about yourself” “making money is the most important” Vivian found he became unfamiliar and felt something uncomfortable between them was growing. She knew he liked her and had always been caring about her especially after she broke up with her ex boyfriend. But she might be just a bit disappointed to his views although she knew they probably were not all wrong.

He was very different with her ex boyfriend despite both being Beijing guys, Vivian thought.

So conflicting, but this was life.

“Want to listen to some advice by an experienced buddy?” Xiaoyang went on saying.

Her train of thought was dragged back to the lunch table.


[ 本帖最后由 lisa2008 于 20-8-2010 11:31 编辑 ]
作者: nizi    时间: 19-8-2010 16:53
Jin Shan Cheng Hot Pot是我过去和老公老一起去吃的,当初在亚运村,离我住的地方特近。
作者: lisa2008    时间: 19-8-2010 18:21
标题: 回复 #25 nizi 的帖子
北三环,西坝河
作者: pinxinge    时间: 20-8-2010 10:29
提示: 作者被禁止或删除, 无法发言 Major might not be rubbish, nevertheless it should not be the limitation of career.
作者: pinxinge    时间: 20-8-2010 10:31
提示: 作者被禁止或删除, 无法发言
原帖由 lisa2008 于 19-8-2010 15:08 发表
据说从一个人是否能吃辣椒,可以看出他/她的人生态度是open还是conservative


这个倒是第一次听说。好像东南沿海的人普遍不太吃辣,但个个都是商道精通,富于创业精神。
作者: lisa2008    时间: 20-8-2010 17:06
原帖由 pinxinge 于 20-8-2010 09:31 发表


这个倒是第一次听说。好像东南沿海的人普遍不太吃辣,但个个都是商道精通,富于创业精神。


嗯,这个说法也是相对的我感觉。在同一类人里面,比如你说的东南沿海的人里,能吃一些辣的和完全不敢吃辣的人比,可能能看出一点不同。
作者: lisa2008    时间: 2-9-2010 18:13
8.

It was nearly 1:00 when they finished the lunch. Very hot outside. When Vivian recalled that day 10 more years later, she still could feel the heat wave in the air, hear the irritable noise of the cicadas, and remember the spicy flavor of the hot pot. An ordinary but special day in life, on which she decided to make a change. “Reality is not what you imagined” “Pursuing ideals needs to be built on the satisfaction of food and clothing” “Either you change yourself, or you'll never be able to change anything.”  What Xiaoyang had been saying probably was not wrong.

Having experienced 3 jobs within one more years, on that day, Vivian realized something with her persistence might need a change.

“There's still some time for me,” Xiaoyang had a quick look at his watch while walking out of the restaurant, “I'll introduce someone useful to you.”He grabbed her hand.

Xiaoyang waved to a taxi. “Go to FESCO at Ya Bao Lu” He told the driver. Not until Vivian got to understand where they were going, the taxi was on the way.


[ 本帖最后由 lisa2008 于 2-9-2010 19:00 编辑 ]
作者: pinxinge    时间: 3-9-2010 00:25
提示: 作者被禁止或删除, 无法发言
原帖由 lisa2008 于 2-9-2010 17:14 发表
9.

Everyone who worked with foreign company's representative office in Beijing in mid 90s must have known the famous name – FESCO. FESCO's full name was Foreign Enterprise Services Corporation. I ...


Why in mid 90s? I think FESCO still exists now.
作者: lisa2008    时间: 3-9-2010 12:45
标题: 回复 #32 pinxinge 的帖子
True. FESCO was the main HR agent authorized by government then who had few competitors. So everyone knew FESCO. But now there are many other big agents sharing the HR market in BJ too.

[ 本帖最后由 pinxinge 于 3-9-2010 22:53 编辑 ]
作者: pinxinge    时间: 3-9-2010 23:53
提示: 作者被禁止或删除, 无法发言
原帖由 lisa2008 于 3-9-2010 11:45 发表
True. FESCO was the main HR agent authorized by government then who had few competitors. So everyone knew FESCO. But now there are many other big agents sharing the HR market in BJ too.


Oh. I'm OUT le once again.
作者: shenlong1984    时间: 5-9-2010 14:10

作者: shenlong1984    时间: 5-9-2010 14:57
嘿嘿,俺喜欢你的译文,穿过你的黑发的我的手.
作者: lisa2008    时间: 5-9-2010 20:26
9.

Everyone who had worked with foreign company's representative office in Beijing in mid 90s must have known the famous name – FESCO.


FESCO's full name was Foreign Enterprise Services Corporation. It was a government authorized HR agent who had few competitors then, specializing in introducing local employees to foreign companies.   FESCO, at that time, did business by charging an approximately 60%~70% commission (gradually reduced to lower and lower rate afterwards) on every employee's salary per month, yet still had blooming business mainly thanks to the huge salary gap between what a foreign company normally offered and that offered by a local one. A person could easily have his/her pocket salary increased up to 10 times by changing job from a local company to a foreign one if he/she was professionally qualified and particularly good at English communications.

Not foreign companies offered too much, but local companies offered too little.




Traffic got better. It didn't take long to get to FESCO. Obviously people disliked to go around during lunch time, especially on such a hot day.



It was in an office building named “Ya Tai Da Sha” located in Ya Bao Lu. Ya Bao Lu was a street famous of its Russian markets and fashion shops. Vivian knew it as she once came here shopping with her best friend Heather.


The lift stopped at level 5.

Xiaoyang took Vivian to a door and knocked on it.








[ 本帖最后由 lisa2008 于 6-9-2010 01:11 编辑 ]
作者: lisa2008    时间: 5-9-2010 20:32
标题: 回复 #35 shenlong1984 的帖子
thanks ~ the original translation was not mine, but i did have changed several sentences to make it best reflect the chinese lyrics
作者: pinxinge    时间: 6-9-2010 01:48
提示: 作者被禁止或删除, 无法发言
作者: lisa2008    时间: 6-9-2010 16:33
10

A man in blue shirt and black suit pants opened the door.

“Hi Xiaoyang!    Come in please!”

He was a man of medium height, looked like just over 40s, with thick hair and sharp eyes. Whenever he was talking there was always a professional smile on his face, which made the listener feel warm and trustable immediately.
Very impressive.

Xiaoyang and Vivian were seated on the small guest sofa facing the main desk.

“How are you teacher Wang? Sorry for bothering you at rest time. This is Vivian, my.......classmate. I mentioned to you the other day over the phone....... remember?”

“Ha, the capable and strong character girl?” Teacher Wang twinkled his eyes to Xiaoyang and turned to Vivian, “I'm Wang Ning, in charge of No. A Business Dept. So, you've made up your mind to change the job?”

As if Xiaoyang had talked about me with this teacher Wang before, Vivian thought, but why he never mentioned this to me? Anyway, it was not proper to question Xiaoyang in front of teacher Wang.  Vivian decided to do it later.

“Yeah...... actually I already resigned ...... yesterday.”

“Then, what kind of job are you looking for? What's your expectation? Your major in school was same as Xiaoyang, am I right?”

“Correct. I.......”

“She is willing to try any kind of office job available, technical, business, administration, whatever” Xiaoyang patted her back slightly and interrupted her, “Of course she prefers technical and business jobs, but administration is also acceptable.” Vivian could see he worried about her changing mind again.

“OK, then can you tell me what your work experience has been since graduation, and what training courses you have had these years?” teacher Wang kept asking Vivian and changed the language into English.





[ 本帖最后由 lisa2008 于 9-9-2010 22:21 编辑 ]
作者: 美格格    时间: 6-9-2010 17:16
你太厉害啦  
作者: pinxinge    时间: 6-9-2010 19:35
提示: 作者被禁止或删除, 无法发言 报道,这么快又出一集。
作者: lisa2008    时间: 7-9-2010 01:13

作者: ttzy    时间: 7-9-2010 13:07
呵呵,学习了。
作者: 2late    时间: 7-9-2010 14:24
真不错,支持!
作者: shenlong1984    时间: 7-9-2010 14:46
moved to beijing in the mid of 90s that was quite a challenging transition for me at that time.anyway everything turns to becoming nostalgic and mixed feelings
i wanna go home ,,,,,,,,,,
作者: lisa2008    时间: 7-9-2010 18:17
标题: 回复 #45 shenlong1984 的帖子
i've traveled to many places in the world, but i would say Beijing is the most unforgetable city to me no matter how much it has changed

too much memory left there........and memory is part of life
作者: lisa2008    时间: 7-9-2010 18:22
anyone else who has ever lived in Beijing, or been to Beijing, or married a Beijng boy/girl?

come up to say Hi here    give me some reason to write a bit more about Beijing in mid 90s
作者: pinxinge    时间: 7-9-2010 18:28
提示: 作者被禁止或删除, 无法发言
原帖由 shenlong1984 于 7-9-2010 13:46 发表
moved to beijing in the mid of 90s that was quite a challenging transition for me at that time.anyway everything turns to becoming nostalgic and mixed feelings
i wanna go home ,,,,,,,,,,


Yeah, mixed feeling. That's the word in my heart.
作者: shenlong1984    时间: 8-9-2010 15:21
lol, this song" beijing beijing"
http://www.1ting.com/player/9b/player_158762.html

作者: lisa2008    时间: 10-9-2010 15:53
11.

The talk turned into an informal interview. Vivian was never afraid of any interview. In fact, she was an expert. Although her professional career was short, she had experienced over 30 interviews since graduation. She was pretty familiar with the routine questions and tricks, and enjoyed playing with it to test how various replies worked at some uncritical accasions. She thought it was of big fun and good for practising oral English, and had seldom worried much about winning or losing the chance – as she never waited until jobless to look for a new one.

But it was different today. She no longer had a job. Yes she was proud, but she needed money to pay bills. Moreover, she agreed, it might be the time for a change.

Vivian briefly explained her experience and training. Apparently teacher Wang was happy to it. He nodded his head when listening.

“Very good!” he stood up in the end. “I think you are more qualified than your expectation.” “However,” he stopped,  “I still would like to remind you something in advance.”


[ 本帖最后由 lisa2008 于 10-9-2010 14:57 编辑 ]
作者: lisa2008    时间: 20-9-2010 00:46
好久没写了
作者: pinxinge    时间: 20-9-2010 15:04
提示: 作者被禁止或删除, 无法发言 oil
作者: mql3461    时间: 20-9-2010 15:15
真是好玩啊
作者: 喜悦    时间: 21-9-2010 10:54
修车的,不是什么英文专业,给你瞎改了改,肯定还有不妥的地方,请lz多包涵


“OK,ok, you start to work as the reception tomorrow. The boss shouted suddenly, to conclude the conversation.
or !”(“OK, OK, you start as a receptionist tomorrow.PERIOD!” shouted the boss suddenly.)
Being shocked by (or Shocked at) the scene in front of her, Vivian felt she could hardly breath(breathe是动词,breath是名词) or think.

As a 23 year old (23-year-old)young girl who grew up from a well educated family, whose father was a professor in university (whose father was a university professor)and the only man at home (in the family), Vivian, in her young life, had never ever seen a man so losing his manner . (had never ever seen a man losing his manner/temper like that) (注:这句话有点冗长,是run-on sentence)

The air was frozen, so as her brain and mouth (so was her brain or lips).

She felt she was (being) thrown into desperate silence. His face which had been big and fat,(His big, fat face) turned into deep red ...  maybe (or,中国人用太多maybe)purple more exactly. The funny yellow tie on (around) his short neck therefore became even more garish and discord(discordant)(注:前面有even more,后面应用形容词。garish是形容词,discord是名词,应该用形容词形式discordant). His eyes were staring straightly on (at) her pale face, mercilessly, full of anger and blood.没看懂

This might be the job she loved and enjoyed the most in her short professional career.(觉得时态不明,没继续看,不知道这个工作she做了没有,如果是没做应该是she would love and enjoy...,如果是做过了就是she had loved and enjoyed...) An electronic engineer - just what she majored in at university.(major in的是electronic engineering而不是engineer) But just now the boss told her to work as reception (a receptionist)tomorrow.



再啰嗦一句:英文写作要遵循3C原则即Clear, Concise and Compelling.

[ 本帖最后由 喜悦 于 21-9-2010 10:10 编辑 ]
作者: lisa2008    时间: 21-9-2010 14:51
真心谢谢喜悦

坦率讲,我不是个谦虚的人   所以一般人指出的问题包括我原来学校老师说我的我当耳旁风的居多(不当面反驳都算给面子了)   。不过刚才仔细看了喜悦给的建议,基本95%以上我都认同,确实那样修改比我原来写的读起来简洁顺口,而且语感也好了很多。这就去改。

借此机会我也说说我写这个英文小说的初衷。这个小说我是一时心血来潮当娱乐开始写的,到目前为止都不算认真,我也不知道能否一直写下去 - 估计要写那段比较复杂的经历没有100篇是写不完的。其中涉及办公室文化,几次或微妙或激烈的情感,几次比较不一般的经历(在那个年代),还有大的人生抉择,还会涉及一些隐私(需要权衡怎样处理)。这些都是我写写停停犹豫的原因。

另外因为从来没有写过小说(中文的也没有),而且是业余英语写作(尽管毕业之后10多年一直在欧美企业官方英语的语言环境工作,但文学创作和工作英语毕竟还是有很多不同),基本就是想到哪里写到哪里,原来写的那些都是先想好,然后花10分钟左右一口气写出来,写好后粗略看一遍就发帖了。

所以这个帖子,只能算是个比意识流稍微更有条理一些的梳理思路的草稿。

等写的差不多收尾的时候(暂时虚拟语气),我想找时间把全文全面完整地修改几遍,再重新发一个帖子,作为一个相对比较完美的record保存。
作者: lisa2008    时间: 21-9-2010 15:04
12.


I understand you prefer a professional job to an administration one. Most girls who have professional backgrounds think so.” he paused and saw Vivian nodding her head inadvertently.

Then he added, “However I have to remind you to be realistic if you want a new job as soon as possible. I've seen too many girls looking for professional jobs for months but ending up with administration ones. Now that you have quit your last job, if you agree with me there happens to be a chance for you to try this afternoon.”

He looked at his watch and went on, “It's 2:00 now. At 2:30 there will be an examination for recruiting the Secretary Class by FESCO. If you don't mind being a secretary in future I can arrange for you to take the exam. ”

“Why not?” Xiaoyang interrupted. “Just an examination. Why don't you just take it and have a better thought afterwards?” he said to Vivian, “You'll still have choices then.”

Yes, why not?

It was a suggestion that Vivian could not refuse.


[ 本帖最后由 lisa2008 于 21-9-2010 15:55 编辑 ]
作者: pinxinge    时间: 21-9-2010 15:19
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原帖由 喜悦 于 21-9-2010 09:54 发表
修车的,不是什么英文专业,给你瞎改了改,肯定还有不妥的地方,请lz多包涵


“OK,ok, you start to work as the reception tomorrow. The boss shouted suddenly, to conclude the conversation.
or !”(“O ...


强人强帖。等楼主完稿出版的时候,可以请喜悦来做编辑校稿。
作者: 喜悦    时间: 21-9-2010 16:24
今天闲着没事,再凑凑热闹
12.

“I understand your(应该是笔误,应为you) prefer professional job to administration job.(job是可数名词,所以前面要加冠词,或用复数。... prefer a professional job to an admin one.) Most girls who have professional majors (backgrounds/qualifications)think so.” he paused and saw Vivian nodded her head inadvertently.(注意saw的用法,应该是saw Vivian nod her head inadvertently或saw that Vivian nodded her head inadvertently.)

Then he said(对话比较长,总用said不好,不如这里用added), “However I have to suggest you be realistic if you want to get a new job as soon as possible. (However, I'd like to remind you that you need to be realistic/或remind you to be realistic if you want a job ASAP.)I’ve seen too many girls looking for professional jobs for months but ending up in doing administration ones.(but ended up doing/with adminastrative ones.) Now that you have quit your last job, if you agree with me there happens to be a chance for you to try this afternoon.” (if you agree/if you'd like to, there is an opportunity this afternoon)He looked at his watch and went on, “It's 2:00 now. At 2:30 there will be an examination for the Secretary Class recruitment by FESCO.(there will be a FESCO recruitment examination for the new Secretary Class.这句没看懂,是招秘书班的考试?) If you don't mind being a secretary in future I can arrange for you to take part in the exam. ” (I can put you in)
“Why not?” Xiaoyang interrupted. “Just an examination. Why don't you just take it and have a better thought afterwards?” he said to Vivian, “You'll still have choices then.”

[ 本帖最后由 喜悦 于 21-9-2010 15:33 编辑 ]
作者: 喜悦    时间: 21-9-2010 16:32
原帖由 pinxinge 于 21-9-2010 14:19 发表


强人强帖。等楼主完稿出版的时候,可以请喜悦来做编辑校稿。


过奖过奖,喜悦是瞎凑热闹。给车做service喜悦比较专业

[ 本帖最后由 喜悦 于 21-9-2010 15:58 编辑 ]
作者: lisa2008    时间: 21-9-2010 16:59
标题: 回复 #59 喜悦 的帖子
有点点好奇 ,喜悦修车以前主要是做什么工作的?英语老师
作者: lisa2008    时间: 21-9-2010 16:59
标题: 回复 #59 喜悦 的帖子
有点点好奇 ,喜悦修车以前主要是做什么工作的?英语老师
作者: cherrywang    时间: 27-9-2010 21:19
lisa太强了,佩服佩服!
作者: lisa2008    时间: 28-9-2010 17:07
13

They went out of the office.

2:15 now, 15 minutes left before Vivian should go for the exam on the 2nd floor.


“Listen,” Xiaoyang said while they were walking downstairs, “Try best to catch this chance. It doesn't matter you become a secretary or an engineer or whatever at the beginning. The most important thing is to have a job offer to join FESCO. Once you have had 1 or 2 years FESCO work experience, it'll become much easier for you to find a more satisfactory job.”

“I know what you mean.” she said, “I'm convinced already so don’t worry about me. I know what to do.” In a few seconds, she added, “and...... thanks...... I'll buy you a beer once I get the offer.”

“Deal.” he said. “Ok, l'l let you go now. Just give me a call afterwards...... Oh, by the way, I'll have my GM arriving in Beijing tonight and we'll travel to Shanghai over the weekend and then on to Chongqing...... so I may not be able to get back until the week after next.”

“En, have a pleasant trip Xiaoyang ....... I'll call you later” she said.

[ 本帖最后由 lisa2008 于 28-9-2010 16:09 编辑 ]
作者: lisa2008    时间: 28-9-2010 17:08
14.

There were over 20 young girls waiting in the classroom when Vivian got there. According to teacher Wang, all these girls should have passed the initial interview and now came for the writing exam. Some girls were still busy reading books or looking into dictionaries.

There was no time for Vivian to prepare anything for the exam, however she felt calm and relax. She knew her English was not bad and she appreciated the chance. Why not just let it be.

The 90-minute exam started on time.

No unexpected questions. Vivian completed the test paper within 60 minutes and started to review. Then she heard the door of the classroom open and saw a group of people come in.

They were two men and one lady, accompanied by Teacher Wang.


[ 本帖最后由 lisa2008 于 30-9-2010 16:23 编辑 ]
作者: pinxinge    时间: 29-9-2010 16:50
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原帖由 lisa2008 于 28-9-2010 16:08 发表
14.

There were over 20 young girls waiting in the classroom when Vivian got there. According to teacher Wang, all these girls should have passed the initial interview and now came for the writing e ...


赶紧打卡报到。
作者: lisa2008    时间: 30-9-2010 17:22
15.

Teacher Wang nodded to the girls, indicating they wouldn't interrupt the exam.


The visitors walked down the aisle between the tables and gathered at the front of the classroom. They whispered to each other and pointed to the girls, then Teacher Wang called Vivian and two other girls names and asked them to come to his office after the exam.

Not until she was told by Teacher Wang face to face in his office, could Vivian believe she had won her first opportunity to interview.

Many years later, when Vivian recalled this moment, she still could not figure out how one's life could be greatly changed by such dramatic accidents. With the age growing, she more and more realized that life was actually chained by 'choices', but not by 'gain' or 'loss'.

It was a British company. The boss was the lady who visited the classroom just now. She was the Chief Representative of the company's Beijing Office, and the position open for interview was her assistant.  Vivian, together with the other two girls, was selected to attend the interview tomorrow.

作者: pinxinge    时间: 4-10-2010 12:27
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原帖由 lisa2008 于 30-9-2010 17:22 发表
15.

Teacher Wang nodded to the girls, indicating they wouldn't interrupt the exam.

The visitors walked down the aisle between the tables and gathered at the front of the classroom. They whisp ...


Can hardly understand this, is this a "beauty contest"? What's the criteria to select the candidates?
作者: lisa2008    时间: 4-10-2010 15:08
标题: 回复 #67 pinxinge 的帖子
keep reading, will explain this in the novel later
作者: pinxinge    时间: 5-10-2010 01:15
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原帖由 lisa2008 于 4-10-2010 15:08 发表
keep reading, will explain this in the novel later


Sure I will do.
作者: dcxg    时间: 7-10-2010 07:04
Should the hidden rules be in detail
作者: joohnnie    时间: 29-10-2010 03:14
厉害,学习




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