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标题: 贴几个同事发给我的笑话，有不懂的跟贴提问，我来解答 [打印本页]

作者: 新生活主张 时间: 5-2-2009 21:21
标题: 贴几个同事发给我的笑话，有不懂的跟贴提问，我来解答
还别说，里面充满了文化的东西。

Something to offend everyone - read at your own risk!

A history teacher asks a class full of kids

'What was Churchill famous for?'
A kid at the back shouts out 'He was the last white man to be called Winston!'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China ?

Everybody won.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law?
About 2.3 pounds including the urn.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Was so depressed last night that I rang the Samaritans..

Got through to a call centre in Pakistan .

Told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane......

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A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says 'Show me it's true what they say about black men'...

So he stabbed her and nicked her purse.

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I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...

'Oi, what's your disability?'

I said 'Tourettes! Now f**k off!'

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A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving.

'Excuse me do I know you?' he asks. 'Yes I think you are the father of one of my kids' she says.

The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says 'Are you the bird I shagged on my stag night, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my arse?'

'No' she replies 'I'm your son's English teacher!'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I said to the wife, 'I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' '

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What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Gordon Brown?

Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists.

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A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling, I was a hooker!'.

He says 'That's all right, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it'.

She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for JAVEA R.U.F.C !'.

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Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees Sister Rose washing the kitchen floor.

He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground.

As he's shagging her the Rev Mother comes in.

'SISTER ROSE!!!' she roars 'Have some respect.

Arch your back girl and keep Father Duffy's balls off the wet floor!!'

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Tampax are changing their design they are replacing the string with a piece of tinsel .....

This is for the Christmas period only!

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A man says to his wife 'tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time'.

His wife replies, 'You've got a bigger knob than your brother.'

[ 本帖最后由新生活主张于 5-2-2009 21:22 编辑 ]

作者: 毛桩桩 时间: 5-2-2009 23:21

作者: jlcgydzq 时间: 6-2-2009 01:04
What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law?
About 2.3 pounds including the urn.
-------------------do an aussie subsidize his mother-in-law in life? otherwise, there is no doubt he hopes his mother-in-law should be in tomb as fast as she can

JAVEA R.U.F.C-----------------what's the meaning of this? a kind of popular erotic game? whereas, there is a more interesting chinese dialog as follows: A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling, I was a hooker!'.He says 'That's all right, dear. Your past is your past." then,the bride replies to husband"in effect,I was a transgender one month ago." the husband answers with a smile"never mind,me too,have a look at my plastic dick,sweet heart."

作者: 新生活主张 时间: 6-2-2009 08:48

原帖由 jlcgydzq 于 6-2-2009 01:04 发表

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What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law?
About 2.3 pounds including the urn.
-------------------do an aussie subsidize his mother-in-law in life? otherwise, there is no doubt he hopes his moth ...

哈哈哈！

2.3 pounds指的是整个骨灰盒连骨灰的重量。

R.U.F.C.: Rugby Union Football Club, 他原来是球员。ＪＡＶＥＲ是俱乐部的名字。

作者: 我是老人 时间: 6-2-2009 11:04
很好.就是太冷.

（ＮＩＣＥ，　ＢＵＴ　，　Ａ　ＬＩＴＴＬＥ　ＢＬＡＣＫ），　

英文回复，对吗？　

作者: 新生活主张 时间: 6-2-2009 12:57

原帖由 我是老人 于 6-2-2009 11:04 发表

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很好.就是太冷.

（ＮＩＣＥ，　ＢＵＴ　，　Ａ　ＬＩＴＴＬＥ　ＢＬＡＣＫ），　

英文回复，对吗？　

我的原则管它对不对，能懂就行！

昨天跟同事聊，同事说，在澳洲如果某个身边的人死了，大家会聚在一起开玩笑，我理解这是一种文化。

作者: jlcgydzq 时间: 6-2-2009 13:43
black humor 我喜欢,很冷很冷的那种......

上面的那些都不错

作者: nizi 时间: 6-2-2009 15:38
too cold

作者: jlcgydzq 时间: 6-2-2009 21:49
Tampax are changing their design they are replacing the string with a piece of tinsel ..... This is for the Christmas period only!
-------why?

any girls or ladies accepted such changing?is there any relation to that western festival?

i imagine whether they would make use of the tinsel in order that they economized on their earrings at christmas party.i don't know...

作者: jlcgydzq 时间: 6-2-2009 22:23
-------------The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says 'Are you the bird I shagged on my stag night, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my arse?'

=====================================
does this pride and pretentious man belong to a certain SM club?anyway,his son

...as proverb says,虎父无犬子嘛

作者: 新生活主张 时间: 7-2-2009 10:35

原帖由 jlcgydzq 于 6-2-2009 21:49 发表

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Tampax are changing their design they are replacing the string with a piece of tinsel ..... This is for the Christmas period only!
-------why? any girls or ladies accepted such changing?is the ...

呵呵

，原来人家也就是形容圣诞节时各种商品的圣诞创意，想不到你更有创意！

作者: jlcgydzq 时间: 7-2-2009 15:00

原帖由 新生活主张 于 7-2-2009 10:35 发表

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呵呵，原来人家也就是形容圣诞节时各种商品的圣诞创意，想不到你更有创意！

i can not but say imagination was due to financial crisis nowadays,so i guess some of local women could not afford their favourite earrings but drew on something possible.at any rate,all of us hope we would pass through the financial crisis in favorable jokes and good humor.

作者: mite 时间: 8-2-2009 01:01
Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China ?

Everybody won.

WHAT? NOT UNDERSTAND

作者: 新生活主张 时间: 8-2-2009 12:20

原帖由 mite 于 8-2-2009 01:01 发表

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Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China ?

Everybody won.
WHAT? NOT UNDERSTAND

这个笑话是同事跟我开玩笑的，被我当场搞回去了，你知道中国人怎么看澳洲人look-a-like competition吗？答案是Everybody won.哈哈哈！

其实也就是白种人看我们东方人长得都一样，所以竟赛不分高下，每个人都赢，而我们看白种人也是长得都一样。

作者: Jill 时间: 13-2-2009 10:08
I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...

'Oi, what's your disability?'

I said 'Tourettes! Now f**k off!'

what's the meaning of 'Tourettes'? is something relevant to local culture?

作者: MacroJ 时间: 13-2-2009 14:51

原帖由 新生活主张 于 6-2-2009 11:57 AM 发表

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我的原则管它对不对，能懂就行！

昨天跟同事聊，同事说，在澳洲如果某个身边的人死了，大家会聚在一起开玩笑，我理解这是一种文化。

真的？！

作者: guojf 时间: 23-2-2009 18:08

原帖由 Jill 于 13-2-2009 10:08 发表

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I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...

'Oi, what's your disability?'

I said 'Tourettes! Now f**k off!'

what's the meaning of 'Tourettes'? is something re ...

Tourette Syndrome学名叫秽语、抽动综合症，网上介绍很多，大抵就是无法控制地肌肉抽动、发声，严重的话会控制不住地骂人，绝对跟强迫症是不同的概念。

作者: nizi 时间: 10-7-2009 00:36

作者: rosanna 时间: 10-7-2009 14:38
谁能告诉我怎么奖分，我有20分，但不会用？？

作者: ubuntuhk 时间: 10-7-2009 15:12
标题: 回复 #19 rosanna 的帖子
如果你有加分的权限，你会在每个帖子的右下角看到“评分”按钮，点它就可以加分了。

作者: rosanna 时间: 10-7-2009 20:07

原帖由 ubuntuhk 于 10-7-2009 14:12 发表

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如果你有加分的权限，你会在每个帖子的右下角看到“评分”按钮，点它就可以加分了。

不好意思啊,每次我想评分的时候，就出现这句话"您未输入分值或超过每次评分范围限制。"

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