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标题: 很久没发作文了，请大虾们帮忙看看是进步了还是退步了～ [打印本页]

作者: will.xuhui 时间: 19-2-2014 12:50
标题: 很久没发作文了，请大虾们帮忙看看是进步了还是退步了～
Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish.
Why do you think this is happening?
What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

The ever-increasing waste pollution has become a cause of public concern. This essay will discuss some vital factors of this trend and measures could be taken to address this issue as well. (32)

The modern lifestyle and benefits oriented enterprises contribute to the main cause of producing wastes. For example, some companies deliberate to sell poor durability products and encourage consumers to replace the demolished item with a new one. Moreover, they usually unwilling to recycle the abandoned products but put their revenues at the first place. Another reason is that the fast pace of modern life makes people to choose disposable goods other than reusable ones. For instance, some travellers prefer to use the tooth brush which provided by the hotel than bring their own. As a result, the continuously growing demand for those products may result in producing more litter in the long run. (113)

On the other hand, the authorities should take several actions to cope with the raising waste pollution. Firstly, more strict environmental legislation should be established and implemented to guide both enterprises and ordinary people. Secondly, governors should allocate more money to build waste disposal infrastructures and subsidise companies that develop environmental friendly goods, such as biodegradable or reusable products. Furthermore, waste recycling projects and correlated technology innovation are another important areas where need authorities’ financial and ministration support, because recycling and advanced technology not only save energy consumption but also reduce the amount of waste substantially. (96)

In conclusion, it is inevitable that situation will last for a long time due to various demand and benefits from individuals and companies. However, the government could solve this issue from several aspects, thereby maintaining a sustainable development society. (39)

Total: 280

作者: angelozkq 时间: 19-2-2014 17:04
高手啊，这个作文应该高分吧

作者: sweetstar 时间: 19-2-2014 17:51
本帖最后由 sweetstar 于 19-2-2014 18:53 编辑

不错，比我水平牛。土做朋，加qq群250319630互相改作文吧。
不过题目说的more and more rubbish，你第一段不建议写xx污染，有点跑意思了。
个人不欣赏this essey这么写，至少范文和老顾没有一篇是这么写的。
On the other hand,貌似意思不大对，可改成in order to tackle this issue等。
they usually unwilling to recycle the abandoned products but put their revenues at the first place.这句话貌似没有谓语动词。

作者: will.xuhui 时间: 19-2-2014 18:35
我觉得里面还是有很多问题和错误。比如最后结尾： due to various demand and benefits from individuals and companies。这里应该改成for吧。
希望各位高手能指点一下～

雅思不易啊～～

作者: wisezmz 时间: 19-2-2014 19:18

sweetstar 发表于 19-2-2014 18:51

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不错，比我水平牛。土做朋，加qq群250319630互相改作文吧。
不过题目说的more and more rubbish，你第一段 ...

楼主用的是刘洪波的结构。对应这个report类题目，框架没问题。

benefits oriented enterprises  应该是 benefits-oriented enterprises

“On the other hand,貌似意思不大对，可改成in order to tackle this issue等”  这个观点同意

“they usually unwilling to recycle the abandoned products but put their revenues at the first place.这句话貌似没有谓语动词”  这个也同意

“measures could be taken to address this issue” 应为  measures that could be taken to address this issue

楼主语法错误较多，这篇文章顶多也就6分。

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